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Print 66 comment(s) - last by vingamm.. on Jun 23 at 1:39 PM

Hello, am I getting through?

We've all heard horror stories of just how bad AOL's Internet service and customer service are, but one man recorded a conversation with an AOL CSR that is enough to make even the most tolerant person pull his or her hair out.

Vincent Ferrari simply wanted to call in to cancel his AOL account, but his request to cancel the account simply resulted in over 5 minutes of nonsense as the CSR tried everything within his power to keep Vincent as a customer. Here part of the transcript courtesy of MSNBC:

Ferrari: I want to cancel my account.
AOL: OK. I mean, is there a problem with the software itself?
Ferrari: No. I don't use it. I don't need it. I don't want it.
AOL: Last year, last month it was 545 hours of usage.
Ferrari: I don't know how to make it any clearer. So I'm just gonna say it one last time. Cancel the account.
AOL: Well, explain to me what is wrong.
Ferrari:  I'm not explaining anything to you. Cancel the account.

According to MSNBC, Vincent has received a verbal apology from AOL and the CSR in question has been fired. “At AOL, we have zero-tolerance for customer care incidents like this - which is deeply regrettable and also absolutely inexcusable. The employee in question violated our customer service guidelines and practices, and everything that AOL believes to be important in customer care - chief among them being respect for the member, and swiftly honoring their requests. This matter was dealt with immediately and appropriately, and the employee cited here is no longer with the Company,” said AOL spokesman Nicholas Graham.

One must ask how any Vincent was even able to tolerate AOL service for more than five years?



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RE: Stupid AOL Story
By rupaniii on 6/22/2006 1:09:42 AM , Rating: 2
It took me 22 minutes to cancel my AOL Account back in 2004. I think it may have been the same jackass. ... notes.. Yes, have them. OK.
Me: 'Yes, Hi, I am cancelling my account today due to the fact that I no longer have a job that requires me to use AOL (don't ask what that was).
Ass: 'Well, what features of AOL don't you want to use anymore? Email, Movie Listings, Chat, EZ Keyword searches, '
Me: 'Internet Access. I no longer wish to access the internet using AOL Services. In Fact, I already don't, as I have an AOL For Broadband account. I don't need that anymore'
Ass: ' I see. You are, ofcourse, aware that AOL protects you from viruses and all email is scanned prior to your downloading'
Me: 'My Primary Email account is MyName@Comcast.net. I don't need AOL. I had it as a requirement from some jackass who wouldn't listen to reason at my job. I actually have never Wanted AOL'.
Ass: 'So, you have found our Services for Broadband are an advantage for your workplace, why is that?'
Me: 'It was of no advantage. the Jackass was 52 years old and the only internet he knew how to use was AOL and he forced me to get an account. Now, I have stated that you are to cancel my account. Do so now'.
Ass: ' I tell you what, let me offer you 60days of Free AOL and our new Movies and Dating service access for free during that time. I think you are selling the services you have used while working short. We have many things to make ones life easier and more rewarding'
Me: 'I tell you what, Cancel My account.'
Ass: 'Ok, let me ask you a few questions'
Me: 'No, you've done that already, remove my bank account from your records and lose my account, my email address, and anything remotely connected to my account'.
Ass: 'Sir, let me put you on hold, don't hang up, or you will prolong what I have to do'
Me: 'No, I don't need to be on hold' :Music Starts'
Ass'Boss: 'Sir, Hi, this is AssBoss. Ass has told me that you wish to cancel your account. Please tell me about this. What have we offered you that has not met your expectations
Me: 'Customer Service'
AssBoss: 'How so, has Ass offended you in any way? Did you find any content on our site offensive'
Me: 'No, my problem is this. You haven't cancelled my account'
AssBoss: 'No Sir, we haven't cancelled your account, I show it active. Were you having trouble accessing your account. Were you really calling because your account wasn't working and you couldn't get resolution online'.
Me: 'yes, I was calling because I was unable to resolve the issue online, that is correct'
AssBoss: "Ok, so there is a misunderstanding!"
Me: 'Well, no.'
AssBoss: "What are we straight on?"
Me: "that there is a misunderstanding'
AssBoss: 'I'm sorry?'
Me: 'I'd like to accept your apology, but I can't. I've been trying to cancel my account for 15 minutes, and 4 hours if you count how long it took me to realize that I couldn't do it online. "
AssBoss: 'Sir, I am still troubled that you told me Customer Service was a problem you had with our services, what problem do you have with our Customer Service'
Me: 'Ok, is there anyone there who speaks Chinese Mandarin or Russian?'
AssBoss: 'Sir, i'm sorry, which of those is your native tounge?"
Me: 'English, but they might understand what I'm saying. My only issue with AOL customer service has been that I'm still trying to cancel my account. I want to cancel my account because I want to cancel my account. There's no great issue here. I don't give a damned about your services. I have already stated that I want you to stop taking my money beginning next month and in exchange I won't use your services anymore, this is simple!'.
AssBoss: 'Well Sir, May I ask you a Question?"
Me: 'Sure, it seems to be the trend!"
AssBoss: 'What could we do to make AOL a better way to access the internet. What could you not do with AOL that you would like to see changed.
Me: (having had enough... ). 'well, ok, to start, Maps. I was upset that it didnt' register the correct name of a landmark at 5225 Figueroa Mountain Rd, Los Olivos, CA 93441. Also, it doesn't let me see 'Pictures'...
AssBoss: 'Oh sir, we could fix that... have you updated your AOL Software?'.
Me: 'Sure'.
AssBoss: 'And you still haven't been able to view these pictures? Do you know what file format they are?
Me: 'bitmap, Jpeg.. '
AssBoss: 'That's unusual.'
Me: I get to see other 'Pictures', but these don't seem to come up. Some of the pictures I see are those formats, but your searches don't seem to return the 'Pictures' I want.
AssBoss: 'Ok, I am entering a report about this... What is the Landmark that the mapping service you were accessing failed to use.. in fact, what was the mapping service?'
Me: 'Oh, I don't know if it was AOL maps, but the landmark was Neverland Valley Ranch. Now, can you finally find some reason to cancel my account or am I going to have to drive 2 hours from Baltimore down there and Violate you like we are stuck alone in a dark locked room at that address. Fucking cancel my account you bitch because I have better things to do than this such as Jerk Off to pictures of Pamela Anderson I got while happily surfing the web on Comcast. Cancel my account, send me a note about it in the mail, or I 'll get my lawyer on your retarded ass.
AssBoss: "Sir, that was a good one. You seem upset. Would a free 2 months of AOL and free services convince you to stay with AOL to be sure you no longer want to use it'
Me: 'No, just cancel it'.
Ok, I will do that now. You will recieve your notice in the mail in 7-10 business days.

After this, he got into 5 minutes of legalese about recording this, and By this I agree, etc...

WOW..


RE: Stupid AOL Story
By MrSmurf on 6/22/2006 7:22:50 AM , Rating: 2
I bet you wasted more time actually writing that out and I bet no one actually read it.

You probably enjoyed the 22 minutes of human contact that day! lol, just kidding.


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