Hades Freezes Over: Duke Nukem Forever Makes Comeback
September 4, 2010 10:20 PM
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The king is back! "Duke Nukem Forever" has been revived, and is nearing release in a shocking turn of events.
The demo features a quick taste of the game's combat gameplay, in which the macho-protagonist, Duke Nukem, fights to save his babes from hoards of evil extraterrestrials.
The game features plenty of sexual innuendo just like its predecessors -- the demo concludes with Nukem appearing to be receiving oral pleasure from a pair of females.
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all outta gum."
"Hail to the king baby!", Duke Nukem is back. Some may take Friday's announcement of
Duke Nukem Forever
's resurrection as a sign of the end of times, but it's hard not to feel a bit of excitement that maybe, just maybe, this bad joke could transform into a modern first-person shooter gem.
For today's younger generation of gamers, Duke Nukem may not ring many more bells than Q*bert, but there was a time when the brash talking, hyper-masculine, buzz-cut womanizer Duke headlined one of the best selling first person shooters of its decade (
Duke Nukem 3D
By the year 2009, those who still remembered the games used them more frequently in punchlines than in praise. After all,
Duke Nukem 3D
's sequel, the ironically named
Duke Nukem Forever
, had seen an extraordinarily bizarre development lifecycle with developer 3D Realms
still without a finished title
after 12 years of development, dating back to 1997. Then in mid-2009 Take-Two Interactive, who had purchased publishing rights,
sued cash-strapped 3D Realms
, just as the company was
reportedly finishing up
the long awaited title.
The ensuing legal battle was settled with undisclosed terms in May of this year.
3D Realms retained the rights to the game. And in perhaps the wisest decision it had made concerning the seemingly cursed title, it decided to hand over the development reins to Randy Pitchford's studio Gearbox Software.
Mr. Pitchford was no Nukem newbie. He had been hired in the 1990s to help development
Duke Nukem 3D
. And while he left 3D Realms just as
Duke Nukem Forever
was kicking into full swing, Mr. Pitchford always kept a soft spot for the machismo-machine that made him a software superstar.
On Friday at the Penny Arcade Expo in Seattle, Mr. Pitchford let the cat out of the bag showing off a 15-minute live gameplay demo [
] filled with sexual innuendo,
, and suitably attractive graphics. And according to Mr. Pitchford the game is nearly finished, and will launch complete with multiplayer. He states in a
, "It's a large, large game."
If you think Mr. Pitchford might be tempted to tone the game down for today's
more sensitive audience
, think again. It looks to be headed for a solid "M" -- if it catches the ESRB folks on a generous day.
Mr. Pitchford describes the protagonist, remarking, "In Duke's world this is all real shit. These fucking aliens are here and they're fucking our planet up and they're taking our chicks. There's a reason for that, and Duke is the only guy who can stop them. In his universe, that all makes perfect sense. As a result, he is the most important person in his universe. And he knows it. He enjoys it. He franchises it! He's got Duke Burgers opened up all over the country. It's a weird universe, but it works for him. He's the king!"
But the "king" has his work cut out for him if he hopes to win back gamers. After all if there's one thing more deadly than a pack of babe-stealing aliens, it's the risk of remaining a punchline from one more delay.
Despite the risk, Mr. Pitchford is the picture of confidence and exuberance. He says he can understand if some are skeptical, but promises not to disappoint. He states, "I think everybody feels the way I felt when Duke was in trouble in 2009. Yeah, we've been jerked around. But we kind of want him to be triumphant. In Duke's time of need, we almost want to support him. And I'm feeling that kind of love."
As for Nukem, he appears to be feeling the love, too.
The demo concludes with the camera panning out to show that the whole intro experience was just a console game being played by the
Duke Nukem. And Duke has company -- a pair of females, who appear to have been giving old Nukem some oral pleasure. One of them takes a breather and looks up at him to ask, "So how was the game Duke, was it any good?"
He gruffly remarks, "Yeah, but after 12 fucking years . . . it better be."
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RE: Anyone but Gearbox!!!
9/6/2010 12:29:43 PM
Just sitting here eating popcorn and drinking a Coke watching all the butt hurt people fight over consoles and PCs.
Fact: Console gaming is bigger than PC gaming now.
Fact: This isn't changing anytime soon.
Fact: PCs are more powerful and offer a better graphical and control experience for certain games.
Fact: Consoles have risen to the top because developers don't have to worry about piracy as much and because they don't have to design their game around every changing, and endless system configurations. This means cheaper development and more profit.
I love PCs for some games and consoles for some games. RPGs are more fun on consoles. PCs have better control on FPSs and RTSs. However consoles can have good controls for an FPS when they're done right. RTSs will never really be suited for consoles since the level of quick, accurate control for selection of units isn't there.
But more as of late, I like being able to sit on the couch instead of at my desk. This generally lends itself to consoles. I am getting FFXIV when it comes out on PC at the end of the month. However once the PS3 version becomes available, I am going to do the majority of my playing on it. Why? Because its more relaxing. Now if I want to watch something on TV while playing, I can just fire up the PC since I have it set up on a coffee table next to the couch. Graphics really aren't a big deal either way. Awesome graphics don't make a bad game good.
Get over the hate. Play on what you want. It's your money and your time. And pay for your games. Otherwise they won't make any more and the ones they do make suck more.
"The whole principle [of censorship] is wrong. It's like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can't have steak." -- Robert Heinlein
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