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Bloomberg News Service: "Whoops!"

Despite his still being very much alive, an obituary for Apple founder Steve Jobs was published on the Bloomberg news wire service, and mistakenly sent to thousands of clients.

According to Bloomberg, a routine update to the article by a staffer resulted in the article accidently being sent out.

The article described Jobs as the man who, "Helped make personal computers as easy to use as telephones, changed the way animated films are made, persuaded consumers to tune into digital music and refashioned the mobile phone." It also included praise from Bill Gates for Job's influence on the industry. Blank spaces were left for Jobs's age and cause of death.

Jobs was treated for pancreatic cancer in 2003, and his recent appearance and weight loss has fed rumors of poor health. Jobs denied that his cancer had returned.

Bloomberg quickly retracted the article, saying "An incomplete story referencing Apple Inc. was inadvertently published by Bloomberg News.  The item was never meant for publication and has been retracted."

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Fill in the blanks
By JasonMick on 8/28/2008 12:18:25 PM , Rating: 6
This seems like a fun game (a la madlibs ). Lets fill in the blanks.

Steve Jobs lived to (1)__________ and passed away from (2)____________.

I'll go first

(1) 63
(2) A flaming iPod nano, which created a deadly fire, quickly spreading to his blue jeans and finally, his black turtleneck.

Next up....

RE: Fill in the blanks
By FITCamaro on 8/28/2008 12:23:14 PM , Rating: 5
1) 63
2) the smug generated from using Apple products which hit critical mass in 2015.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Polynikes on 8/28/2008 12:25:38 PM , Rating: 3
1. 65
2. The hand of God.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By xzc145 on 8/28/2008 1:07:45 PM , Rating: 2
...his ego finally killed him huh

RE: Fill in the blanks
By WTFiSJuiCE on 8/28/2008 4:56:59 PM , Rating: 3
I think he was referring to Al Gore (the one true god) using his Global Warming ray to melt the Arctic ice cap and sink Jobs' ice fortress of overpriced electronics.

wait..i meant..solitude

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Jedi2155 on 9/1/2008 2:18:04 PM , Rating: 2
1. A long long time ago....
2. A great disturbance in the force as if a million users suddenly discovered that Mojave was actually Vista!

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Brandon Hill on 8/28/2008 12:27:53 PM , Rating: 5
1) 58
2) a flying chair*

* Steve Ballmer denies any involvement with this incident

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Misty Dingos on 8/28/2008 12:28:55 PM , Rating: 5
(1) 183
(2) When his Toyota Mark VII artificial heart failed because of a failed firmware update.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By tehbiz on 8/28/2008 2:18:23 PM , Rating: 5
more like the battery died and they werent designed for replaceable batteries forcing Jobs to have to buy a new heart if he wanted to continue to live.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By lucasprim on 8/29/2008 11:42:31 AM , Rating: 2
great one! lol :D

RE: Fill in the blanks
By masher2 on 8/28/2008 2:44:22 PM , Rating: 2
I don't know about you, but in my opinion, we better be growing real hearts from stem cells long before Jobs turns 183.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By phreakincool on 8/28/08, Rating: 0
RE: Fill in the blanks
By 306maxi on 8/28/2008 4:19:04 PM , Rating: 2
Doing fine eh? How many people has heart failure killed since the human race was placed on the Earth by God (Steve Jobs)? Just saying!

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Master Kenobi on 8/28/2008 12:37:59 PM , Rating: 3
(1) 67
(2) Macbook he used on his lap got too hot, mutating cells leading to cancer. He died shortly thereafter, his only regret was not providing adequate cooling for that Macbook.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By isorfir on 8/28/2008 12:39:08 PM , Rating: 5
1) 21
2) Steve Jobs accidentally causes a disruption in the space-time continuum when he tries to go back in time to stop himself from becoming Steve Jobs.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By akugami on 8/28/2008 1:24:07 PM , Rating: 2

He was killed by a barrage of Macbook Airs. Apparently they're thin enough to slice through flesh and bone when launched. A contraption made from what looks like salvaged office chairs may have been the launcher for these deadly attacks that killed 3 and wounded 12 others.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By 306maxi on 8/28/08, Rating: 0
RE: Fill in the blanks
By bhieb on 8/28/08, Rating: -1
RE: Fill in the blanks
By BB33 on 8/28/2008 2:04:15 PM , Rating: 2
1) 101
2) After plugging in his USB dongle into and unprotected USB port, resulting in a deadly virus being loaded into his intermal life management system.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By drebo on 8/28/2008 5:08:33 PM , Rating: 2
lol @ eXistenZ

RE: Fill in the blanks
By FDisk City on 8/28/2008 2:28:34 PM , Rating: 5
(1) 59
(2) Jerry Seinfeld as part of the new but somewhat controversial Microsoft marketing campaign “Dead people can’t use computers”.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Chadder007 on 8/28/2008 2:34:13 PM , Rating: 2
(1). 64
(2). Crushed by Macbook Nano

RE: Fill in the blanks
By marsbound2024 on 8/28/2008 2:59:29 PM , Rating: 2
(1) 112
(2) his personal robot, turned rogue by a virus designed explicitly for the MacBot OS.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By smilingcrow on 8/28/2008 3:07:33 PM , Rating: 5
1. 31
2. Wishful thinking on my behalf.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By smilingcrow on 8/28/2008 3:08:45 PM , Rating: 5
1. -0.75
2. Thank God for the morning after pill.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Spuke on 8/28/2008 3:38:33 PM , Rating: 2
(1) 12
(2) masturbating to a pic of himself

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Fronzbot on 8/28/2008 4:09:05 PM , Rating: 3
1) 63
2) Suicide. According to a recent study, both chrome and white are depressants.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By 325hhee on 8/28/08, Rating: 0
RE: Fill in the blanks
By DeepBlue1975 on 8/28/2008 5:16:23 PM , Rating: 2
(1) 35
(2) when the wife bought him the latest MacBook Air by mistake when I wanted an actually fully featured laptop. Experienced massive convulsions and heart attack due to the knowledge of him getting bankrupt for an useless - but very pretty - piece of crap.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Fnoob on 8/28/2008 6:06:15 PM , Rating: 3
(1) the day before the day after tommorrow
(2) realising that he no longer had to pay %50 income taxes while dead; providing the obituary to the IRS as proof.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By wvh on 8/28/2008 8:16:19 PM , Rating: 2
(1) see Microsoft buy out Apple
(2) fatal exception 0E

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Earballs on 8/29/2008 4:30:26 AM , Rating: 4
(1) 66

(2) When his embedded battery died he felt it was more economical to just buy a new Steve Jobs.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By TSS on 8/29/2008 5:13:19 AM , Rating: 5
(2)Tripping over the Iwire of his Ifan while beeing distracted by watching the Iteevee steaming Istreams on his Ibigscreen, causing an fatal Ihead injury.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Alazar on 8/29/2008 10:39:16 AM , Rating: 2
My turn.
A) 65
B) Satan called in their contract.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By Alazar on 8/29/2008 10:40:41 AM , Rating: 2
*Should read calling.

*swats typo goblins*

RE: Fill in the blanks
By MrBeans on 8/29/2008 2:02:50 PM , Rating: 2
1. 60
2. Died by PC are better than mac ads

RE: Fill in the blanks
By MarkHark on 8/31/2008 6:54:05 PM , Rating: 4

2-Decided he was ready to take on Chuck Norris.

RE: Fill in the blanks
By orgreeno on 9/2/2008 8:58:23 AM , Rating: 2
(1) 55
(2) A penguin

Sick & disgusting
By crystal clear on 8/28/2008 12:16:54 PM , Rating: 2
The item was never meant for publication and has been retracted."

Then where is the apology & regret ?

Some kind of a cruel joke....

RE: Sick & disgusting
By DASQ on 8/28/2008 12:18:37 PM , Rating: 2
heh, regret? It was a simple mistake.

RE: Sick & disgusting
By mmntech on 8/28/2008 1:14:15 PM , Rating: 2
Yep, it's just a mistake. CNN once posted an obituary a couple years back claiming Dick Cheney was dead. One of the disturbing parts about being a celebrity or major world figure is that every major news service actually does have your obituary pre-prepared, complete with graphics and music. Then they just fill in the time and cause blanks.

RE: Sick & disgusting
By crystal clear on 8/28/2008 1:24:34 PM , Rating: 2
Then they might as well send a copy of the pre prepared obituary to the man concerned & get it certified-

True & correct to the best of my knowledge.

RE: Sick & disgusting
By BladeVenom on 8/28/2008 12:20:21 PM , Rating: 5
Of course it was meant for publication, just not yet.

RE: Sick & disgusting
By crystal clear on 8/28/2008 12:37:30 PM , Rating: 3
In that case they have " an obituary for every known personality/figure meant for publication but just not yet".

By Mitch101 on 8/28/2008 12:30:42 PM , Rating: 4
Everyone knows Steve Jobs is immortal and can only die if you cut his head off in a sword battle.

RE: Highlander.
By Spivonious on 8/28/2008 12:43:49 PM , Rating: 2
There can be only one...

RE: Highlander.
By DeepBlue1975 on 8/28/2008 5:17:39 PM , Rating: 2
And we wouldn't certainly want any more than one of those. :)

RE: Highlander.
By vbNetGuy on 8/28/2008 1:12:51 PM , Rating: 5
He cannot die, but he can be sent back to his own dimension only by having him say his own name backwards, Evets Sboj.

RE: Highlander.
By phreakincool on 8/28/2008 3:47:13 PM , Rating: 2
Sboj Evets. There, fixed that for you.

Looks like John Lennon
By GhandiInstinct on 8/28/2008 12:22:05 PM , Rating: 1
Doesn't he?

RE: Looks like John Lennon
By Parhel on 8/28/2008 12:53:49 PM , Rating: 4
In so far as he's a white man wearing John Lennon glasses, I suppose.

RE: Looks like John Lennon
By phreakincool on 8/28/08, Rating: -1
RE: Looks like John Lennon
By Donkeyshins on 8/31/2008 12:34:03 AM , Rating: 3
He is the John Lennon of Computers and Technology.
Then he better watch out for the Mark David Chapman of Computers and Technology.

RE: Looks like John Lennon
By Fnoob on 8/28/2008 10:04:33 PM , Rating: 2
Looks exactly like John McEnroe responding to a line judge in the upper one.

HAHA This is great.
By BruceLeet on 8/28/2008 7:42:56 PM , Rating: 2
You notice when someone dies, you 'honor' them by speaking of their accomplishments, triumphs (generally speaking).

But if they are still alive they are just a regular 'ol shmuck.

Had this been real, these threads would look way different.

Died of
By SiliconAddict on 8/29/2008 2:42:23 AM , Rating: 2
Overinflated ego that ruptured his liver.

Had to be...
By Kyanzes on 9/1/2008 1:09:55 PM , Rating: 2
It had to be an "I dare you" incident. Or a bold joke perhaps :D
"WTF, these guys have already prepared my friggin obituary?!"

"Vista runs on Atom ... It's just no one uses it". -- Intel CEO Paul Otellini

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