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Company's year-end earnings target "crumbles like a shit cookie"

MarketWatch is reporting that Take-Two Interactive's shares have taken a 15-percent fall since mid-May on weak sales of "L.A. Noire" and scathing reviews of the much-hyped "Duke Nukem Forever."

Although "L.A. Noire" was the top-selling game for the month of May, the 899,000 units sold did not reach the expected 1 million units analysts had predicted for the title. Last year, "Red Dead Redemption" sold 1.5 million units for Take-Two in the same period.

Meanwhile, "Duke Nukem Forever" finally saw its official release yesterday, after years of starts and stops, and one week after the much-anticipated first-person shooter leaked to torrent sites. However, reviews have ranged from pitiful to "barely playable." The game averaged a 55 Metacritic rating for Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 ("Red Dead Redemption" averaged 95).

Ars Technica offered a particularly scathing review. Some excerpts:

Duke is thoughtless, backwards, and belligerent.
It's not racy, it's not funny, and it makes you feel dirty. ... It's like watching your uncle tell racist jokes at Thanksgiving and praying someone has the guts to tell him to cut it out, but this time it's interactive—and you're the uncle.
This is an ugly game that exists to celebrate ugliness. The people involved should be ashamed.

IGN's review isn't much better:

In most cases, the sections in Duke Nukem Forever that connect the shooting are dull, derivative experiences that feel like they exist for no other reason than to bloat the story mode... 
Duke Nukem Forever isn't a revitalization of the early days of the first-person shooter genre or a middle-finger to the increasingly complex and sophisticated nature of videogame entertainment. It's a muddled, hypocritical exercise in irritation with solid shooting mechanics and decent encounter design. There's some dumb fun to be had in Duke Nukem Forever, but the game tries hard to ensure it's only fleeting.

The MarketWatch report, notes that Doug Creutz of Cowen & Co. cited the "extremely poor" reviews of the game in a note to clients that said he believes the company isn't likely to reach its year-end earnings goal. He gave Take-Two a "sell" rating.

And the reviews for the game have been so terrible, that Take-Two subsidiary 2K Games' public relations firm posted an open threat on Twitter to reviewers, saying those who "went too far" in their reviews might not receive review copies of their games in the future. (The tweet has since been deleted and apologized for, but Wired captured a screenshot in time.)

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All hail Duke.
By Uarmm on 6/15/2011 1:30:33 PM , Rating: 2
It's clear these reviewers just don't "get" the glory that is Duke.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Brandon Hill on 6/15/2011 1:32:38 PM , Rating: 3
This section from the Ars review got a WTF from me:

In another scene, a woman sobs and asks for her father. You see, the women in the alien craft are being forcibly impregnated by the aliens, and during your journey, you hear a mixture of screams and sexual noises. After I accidentally blew up a few of these female victims in a firefight, Duke made a joke about abortion.

Not to mention the picking up a turd out of a toilet. That kinda stuff was funny back in junior high; now not so much.

RE: All hail Duke.
By PitbulI on 6/15/2011 1:55:29 PM , Rating: 3
There's too much politically correctness these days. Why not just melt your brain once in a while on some potty humor? I'm thinking of renting this game for some of those dirty comedy momments.

RE: All hail Duke.
By MrBlastman on 6/15/2011 2:08:51 PM , Rating: 3
Darn right there is. People are too uptight. They need to loosen up and take a joke every once in a while. It'd go a long way to bringing down the level of tension in society.

I bought Duke. I waited 14 darned years for this game and to heck with it--I need closure. Good, bad, ugly... whatever, it is a cathartic experience to say the least. I'm having fun playing through it also. Heck, I _still_ play Duke3d to this day w/mods via eduke32/polymer (and of course the SC-55 sound mod which rocks) with parallax, bump mapping, high res textures and more.

Oh, and about Ars technica. As far as I'm concerned, they have their heads up their "Arses" over there. I regularly get banned from their servers in Team Fortress 2. Typically, within 5-10 minutes every single time I hop on one. Yeah, they're asinine and anal about things.

As Duke would say, "Blow it out your A$$."

Hail to the King, Baby.

RE: All hail Duke.
By FITCamaro on 6/15/2011 2:08:56 PM , Rating: 2
Seriously. Was anyone expecting anything groundbreaking out of this game. It's a big middle finger at a lot of things these days. I can't wait to pick it up and blast through it.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Omega215D on 6/15/2011 2:14:51 PM , Rating: 4
Jeez, it seems that the reviewers have never played Duke Nukem back in the day. The whole point of DNF is to relive that time period of running and gunning with some crude humor along the way.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Denigrate on 6/15/11, Rating: 0
RE: All hail Duke.
By adiposity on 6/15/11, Rating: 0
RE: All hail Duke.
By MrBlastman on 6/15/2011 3:07:14 PM , Rating: 5
I'm married, have a kid and my wife is about as conservative as you get. I simply told her: "I pre-ordered Duke. I've waited 14 years for this. Our daughter is never allowed to play it and I don't want you to see it either. If you do, don't say a word."

RE: All hail Duke.
By FITCamaro on 6/15/2011 3:10:14 PM , Rating: 5

RE: All hail Duke.
By osalcido on 6/15/11, Rating: 0
RE: All hail Duke.
By ClownPuncher on 6/15/2011 3:33:32 PM , Rating: 4
Almost all households, not just conservative. Regardless, who cares? It's a guilty pleasure, not a moral failing.

RE: All hail Duke.
By FITCamaro on 6/15/2011 3:42:02 PM , Rating: 5
What are you talking about?

He doesn't want his wife playing it because she'll probably find it offensive.

RE: All hail Duke.
By quiksilvr on 6/16/11, Rating: -1
RE: All hail Duke.
By ClownPuncher on 6/16/2011 11:55:24 AM , Rating: 3
Yea, because parents can tell their kids what to do when they are 30...

Seriously, you're just trolling.

RE: All hail Duke.
By FITCamaro on 6/15/2011 3:48:58 PM , Rating: 5
And lets look at the ultimate liberals track record on "Do as I say, not as I do".

Bush has a 4000 square foot house on a ranch with state of the art means of lowering electricity needs and such. Was blasted by the media for such "extravagance".

Al Gore - 10000 sq. ft. home he finally converted after people called him out on his gas and electricity usage.

Obama - Mansion that he got a shady deal on that is far larger than Bush's home. I'm sure its not cheap to run either.

John Kerry - Multiple mansions all over the globe.

But we need to live in smaller homes, drive smaller cars, turn our thermostats up, and pay more for electricity and gas.

RE: All hail Duke.
By mcnabney on 6/15/11, Rating: -1
RE: All hail Duke.
By Iaiken on 6/15/11, Rating: 0
RE: All hail Duke.
By weskurtz0081 on 6/15/2011 4:22:17 PM , Rating: 2
I think you responded to the wrong person buddy. The first one to drag politics into this is a few posts up.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Reclaimer77 on 6/15/2011 4:22:13 PM , Rating: 3
Gotta love the "Do as I say , not as I do" mentality of conservative households

This was the political statement, and it wasn't made by FIT. Hello?

The guy was basically saying a game rated for an adult would only be PLAYED by an adult (him) and not his daughter, and this jerk blindsides him by accusing him of being a Conservative hypocrite.

So if you wanna call someone a tool, at least call the right person one.

RE: All hail Duke.
By ImEmmittSmith on 6/16/2011 10:50:03 AM , Rating: 3
WHAT!?!! Facts hurt sometimes, especially when your on the other side of the isle! Yes I supported Bush the 1st four years, but not everything is his fault. lol Plus, it doesn't matter which party you are affiliated with, they both straddle the fence as much as possible to get what they want, not what is best for the people. /rant over

Is that what Duke Nukem is about, giving a middle finger to the establishment. lol

RE: All hail Duke.
By Reclaimer77 on 6/15/11, Rating: -1
RE: All hail Duke.
By Shadowmage on 6/15/11, Rating: -1
RE: All hail Duke.
By Shadowmage on 6/15/11, Rating: -1
RE: All hail Duke.
By Hyperion1400 on 6/15/2011 8:05:21 PM , Rating: 2
As the resident "libtard" can please kick the troll (osalcido) in the nuts? Pweeeez!

RE: All hail Duke.
By MrBlastman on 6/15/2011 4:48:03 PM , Rating: 3
Sometimes a man has to wear the pants and show that they wear them. It's a 50/50 street normally, but darned man, it's a heck of a lot better than being whipped into subservience by the woman all the time.

RE: All hail Duke.
By MojoMan on 6/15/2011 11:46:24 PM , Rating: 2
Epic... LOL!

RE: All hail Duke.
By someguy123 on 6/15/2011 3:54:45 PM , Rating: 3
I don't think people are being too politically correct.

It's just not funny. There's a difference between being funny and just spewing a ton of lines and doing things that aren't PC.

You're talking about the video games industry after all. The most popular type of game consists of shooting people in the face. The original Dukes were entertaining because of their personality compared to other games, not because it talked about exploding abortions.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Reclaimer77 on 6/15/11, Rating: 0
RE: All hail Duke.
By someguy123 on 6/15/2011 5:42:23 PM , Rating: 2
Except that's what he was before.

And it was funny, thanks in part to the state of the industry at the time, and pop culture. The attitude itself in a game was funny.

Nukem forever? Eh, not as relevant, but relevancy isn't what makes it bad. It's just not funny. They've replaced personality with how many anti-PC jokes they can shove into a line.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Spuke on 6/15/2011 6:42:32 PM , Rating: 5
Ah, nice to see everyone arguing about gaming again. :)

RE: All hail Duke.
By vortmax2 on 6/15/2011 1:55:30 PM , Rating: 2
That's just gross, plain and simple...

RE: All hail Duke.
By PReiger99 on 6/15/2011 2:20:14 PM , Rating: 2
What did you honestly expect?

From what I am reading, it seems to be a continuation of the original game:

RE: All hail Duke.
By MistaP on 6/15/2011 2:26:50 PM , Rating: 2
It is. Pretty much picks up shortly after Duke thwarted the alien invasion the first time.

RE: All hail Duke.
By someguy123 on 6/15/2011 6:05:35 PM , Rating: 2
They've got sort of a joke goin on there.

When you're beating everyone easily, sometimes you'd say you're shitting on them.

Duke's literally shitting on them.

That's what DNF is missing. Duke will say something like "Look at those exploding abortions." Yeah, it's anti-PC, but where's the joke?

RE: All hail Duke.
By Belard on 6/15/2011 4:39:40 PM , Rating: 3
Naaa... when was the last time you picked up a turd out of anything (not including pets) and used it as a weapon.

DNF is a game designed for 15years olds, perfect!

The big issue would be playability and longevity... more than poo tossing.

And yeah, many guys have potty minds and mouths, haven't you heard how many of todays people talk?

RE: All hail Duke.
By Lerianis on 6/16/2011 11:27:06 AM , Rating: 3
Not just guys.... women as well.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Reclaimer77 on 6/15/2011 5:04:11 PM , Rating: 4
Not to mention the picking up a turd out of a toilet. That kinda stuff was funny back in junior high; now not so much.

What the hell Brandon? Without that stuff, it wouldn't BE Duke Nukem. Hello?

Yes, we've all grown up since the original. But so what? They are staying true to the original game, that's the whole POINT!

RE: All hail Duke.
By Iaiken on 6/15/2011 5:51:25 PM , Rating: 2
They are staying true to the original game

No, they really didn't... I would say they didn't even try...

Large multi-tiered levels - gone (except boss fights)
Edgy Easter eggs - everything is edgy and it takes the edge off

You can't cook a dish with just spices...

RE: All hail Duke.
By inperfectdarkness on 6/15/2011 10:48:22 PM , Rating: 3
you guys are pussies. duke is a choir boy compared with my personal favorite anti-hero; the postal dude.

RE: All hail Duke.
By tamalero on 6/16/2011 11:36:08 AM , Rating: 2
Doesn't that means YOU MATURED and GOT OLDER ?

anyway I dont know why they blame take-two for most of the stuff.. I bet duke nukem forever's code was a total clusterfuck that was almost unfixeable.

RE: All hail Duke.
By 4745454b on 6/16/2011 12:11:25 PM , Rating: 3
That kinda stuff was funny back in junior high; now not so much.

What I don't understand is why Duke is getting rated down for this. What did you expect? It's Duke. Of course the game will be a lot more crass then other games. It started 14 years ago, of course the action will be old school. Why rate the game down because its not what you wanted? Rate it for what it is.

RE: All hail Duke.
By 91TTZ on 6/16/2011 3:36:17 PM , Rating: 2
The game sounds immature, but still funny.

Most of the offended sound like diehard adherents to the political correctness movement, and I don't mind offending them since they're usually overly emotional, whiny little brats who look forward to their next opportunity to express false outrage.

RE: All hail Duke.
By EricMartello on 6/16/2011 5:20:08 PM , Rating: 2
It's a shame how pussified the world has become in just over a decade.

RE: All hail Duke.
By zmatt on 6/16/2011 7:22:11 PM , Rating: 2
when I played Duke Nukem 3D I WAS in junior high. I've played about an hour into the game and while it's lame in a few places and the graphics are not befitting a game form 2011 (maybe 2006), I feel like it is a decent game. Some of the jokes are lame but that's the point IMO. The game is supposed to be cheesey. I don't know what games the reviewers were playing in 1995 but Duke was always cheese. He is a parody of 80's action heroes after all. I mean the anti-commie reference is in his name!

RE: All hail Duke.
By The0ne on 6/16/2011 7:56:40 PM , Rating: 2
Brandon, you are no different than the reviews I've read. I wouldn't enjoy Duke at my age now either but damn did I love it when I was in college. That's the whole thing, we grew up and now it's time for the next generation (kids) to see if they can have fun with it.

But back in our days we didn't have tons of reviews to persuade us NOT to buy the game because they thought it was too "rude" or "crude." It's a shame really that kids nowadays are so bought and don't try. Imagine if you and I were bought like that...I probably go "Postal" on the whole city.

RE: All hail Duke.
By kattanna on 6/15/2011 1:45:39 PM , Rating: 2
yeppers.. we live in a way to PC world now compared to when the original duke shipped.

me.. i will give it a try and probably get some good laughs out of it.

i dont take my gaming seriously.. else its not GAMING

RE: All hail Duke.
By WoWCow on 6/15/2011 2:07:36 PM , Rating: 2
Well, it depends all on the expectation in cases such as Duke Nukem Forever.

I think if players kept their expectations in check since the game itself swapped hands so many times and went on a hiatus for a decade or so...

Mhm... Well, as a reviewer, probably better to set your standards high but keep your expectations low - especially for games and their sequels. That way you'll judge a game as it presents itself, rather than based on an expectation set by the predecessor. (See Fable 3; biggest letdown after the first and 2nd).

I've played parts of the DNF; its decent but nothing revolutionary IMO. The game itself just a throwback for people in a decade ago and still enjoy being immature.

I just pray Mass Effect 3 will at least be mildly better that the 2nd; shouldn't be too much to ask for due to a delay into March 2012.

RE: All hail Duke.
By FITCamaro on 6/15/2011 2:10:03 PM , Rating: 2
Mass Effect 2 so far is awesome.

RE: All hail Duke.
By blppt on 6/15/2011 2:42:02 PM , Rating: 2
Agree 100%. I like it better than ME1.

RE: All hail Duke.
By FITCamaro on 6/15/2011 3:12:10 PM , Rating: 2
Storywise, its just as awesome. Gameplay wise, better. No endless elevators, constant disc reading, etc. Simplified weapons as well. Plus being able to tell your idiotic helpers to get under cover (yes I know in ME1 on PC you could do that).

RE: All hail Duke.
By ClownPuncher on 6/15/2011 3:34:27 PM , Rating: 2
Kinda odd that every area has strategically placed boxes to hide behind, though.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Hyperion1400 on 6/15/2011 8:13:27 PM , Rating: 2

ME1 was like a perfectly crafted Reese's Peanut-butter Cup, a tasty chocolate FPS shell with a creamy RPG peanut-butter center. ME2 was like an Reese's Peanut-butter Cup with all the peanut-butter sucked out leaving a film of PB stuck to the inside. Yeah, its fine if you don't really care for peanut butter, but it's a bit of a disappointment when you bite into it?

And who the hells bright idea was it to to replace the Mako with damned planet mini-game! They better be waiting in the unemployment line!

RE: All hail Duke.
By FITCamaro on 6/16/2011 9:37:09 AM , Rating: 2
I don't mind the planet minigame too much as it has a purpose. But yes its a tad tedious.

And I do miss the Mako. I don't know why they decided we didn't like the planet side combat.

RE: All hail Duke.
By MistaP on 6/16/2011 3:26:38 PM , Rating: 2
COuld have something to do with the time/cost to model all the planet and set something up for you to do on them. I agree losing the Mako sucked.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Omega215D on 6/15/2011 2:18:42 PM , Rating: 2
Nothing wrong with being immature at times. That's the whole point of many games anyway.

Go through life too serious all the time and you'll just end up miserable for the remainder of it.

RE: All hail Duke.
By chiadog on 6/15/2011 2:11:12 PM , Rating: 2
Damn the reviews, I am just impressed that it is finally released. Good game or not, I am picking it up.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Smilin on 6/15/2011 2:49:58 PM , Rating: 3
Even gamers who disagree with your choice will understand. Investors don't get it. They think bad review = low sales.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Samus on 6/15/2011 2:53:20 PM , Rating: 1
shit cookie. love it!

RE: All hail Duke.
By ClownPuncher on 6/15/2011 3:56:12 PM , Rating: 2
I'm guessing that is a Trailer Park Boys reference.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Iaiken on 6/15/2011 3:44:29 PM , Rating: 4
Trying to defend DNF by saying "but that is what it is supposed to be like" is not a defense.

I played DN3D all the time and I would still only characterize it as "OK" at the best of times. Well, I picked up DNF to give it a fair shake and I can safely say that I can now rail on it with absolute certainty.

Content be damned, the game-play is legitimately horrible and buggy to the point that Bethesda is pretty much out of the running for the buggiest major game release award.

DN3D rewarded you for finding Easter eggs and secret locations to find it's more risque aspects. In DNF this has all been turned upside down, the things you need to search for are boring and unnecessary and the risque aspects are thrust upon you like an unwanted teabag. In fact, there is basically no need to explore since the game basically railroads until you get to one of the open boss areas and then it's back onto the track for you Dukey.

Somewhere during the last 15 years, a game whose goal used to be "entertaining people" and somehow became "offending people". Want to smoke a Fagg? How about a blowjob, from twins! Don't want to kill women that are pleading with you for their lives? Too f***ing bad you p***y, pull the trigger already. Fine you spineless coward, the ladies have now exploded in your face! See what you get for being such a b****? Look dude, you're the one who paid me to slap your face with my d***, so sit down and take it like a champ.

Basically the game is a celebration of the lack of intellect that went into it's development. Most of the humor comes in the form of either brainless base comedy or brainless references to internet memes from the last 15 years. The game would have probably been funnier had it never been released and remained the butt of every late release joke on the internet.

The only good thing about the game is that it is short, literally 4 hours, maybe 5 if you take your time or die a lot. That's right ladies (not that you would ever play this game) and gentlemen (you either), it took 15 years to create a 4 hour long railroad shooter punctuated by a couple of fun boss fights.

There are so many other non-politically-correct games out there that are actually good that if you didn't actually miss it over the last 15 years, you won't miss it for the next 15 years and you can spend that $50 on a different game, a better game!

RE: All hail Duke.
By blppt on 6/15/2011 4:34:04 PM , Rating: 2
"Content be damned, the game-play is legitimately horrible and buggy to the point that Bethesda is pretty much out of the running for the buggiest major game release award."

I'll second that....Oblivion STILL doesnt run smoothly on my computer. Actually, I seem to recall it running SMOOTHER on my GF6800GT/XP/X2 3800+ than it does on my current i7/5970/win7 system. Nice coding job, guys. What a mess that game was technically. Amazing graphics for the time tho.

RE: All hail Duke.
By FITCamaro on 6/16/2011 12:07:40 PM , Rating: 3
I'd love to see another Conker's Bad Fur Day.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Iaiken on 6/16/2011 3:00:15 PM , Rating: 2
Conker's Bad Fur Day

Was that the game where multiplayer saw helmeted bunnies taking on evil teddy bears? If so, then YES!

Conker is a great example of how to do lowbrow humour and violence in an intelligent and provocative way.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Reclaimer77 on 6/15/2011 4:17:30 PM , Rating: 2
It's amazing to see just how fast our society is turning into a bunch of big weeping pussies. These dumbasses gave GTA4 "10 out of 10" but give Duke Nukem such shitty reviews? Absurd.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Iaiken on 6/15/2011 4:47:52 PM , Rating: 1
There is a difference between being discerning and being absurd.

Duke deserves a 5/10 as it is a celebration of mediocrity and low-hanging eyebrows...

RE: All hail Duke.
By Reclaimer77 on 6/15/2011 5:00:19 PM , Rating: 2
No, go take the old man act somewhere else. Let us have our fun. I'm not looking for Duke Nukem to be polished or a 10 of 10, in fact if reviewers loved it en masse that would prove they missed the mark.

We've waited a long time for this damn game, so let us have our fun. It's not for "discerning" people. You should have known that upfront.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Iaiken on 6/15/2011 5:46:19 PM , Rating: 2
so let us have our fun.

No one is stopping you...

Like I said, it's a mediocre game, but it's a piss-poor followup to DN3D. Over 3/4 of the game is just a poorly executed railroad that throws random crap at you to pass time between bosses (the only part that I would classify as fun).

RE: All hail Duke.
By theapparition on 6/15/2011 5:12:00 PM , Rating: 2
Because I tend to like movies that get panned reviews too.

RE: All hail Duke.
By someguy123 on 6/15/2011 5:53:03 PM , Rating: 2
Why is this the excuse for everything?

I can make a bad game if I throw in a bunch of jokes about beating women by just blaming the poor reviews on people being pussies?

How about if someone said the game is bad regardless of Duke? Because it is. Take all this PC bashing out of the equation and the game is still bad.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Reclaimer77 on 6/16/2011 12:18:06 AM , Rating: 1
Duke Nukem Forever can't be a "good" game in 2011. It's a time capsule. It SHOULD have been released 12 something years ago. Back then, it would have been a great game. Today's generation just doesn't get it. Being jaded by years of tactical shooters and what not.

But for those of us who have waited, and who knows what the game is meant to be, it's good enough.

Don't you get it? We've waited and waited, and damnit, even IF you think the game sucks I don't wanna hear it. I'm high on the nostalgia and finally being reunited with the Duke. It's a freaking shooter, you people act like we're debating classical music or some other form of art. Get over yourself and just let people have their fun.

How about if someone said the game is bad regardless of Duke?

I think Duke said it best; Blow it out your ass.

RE: All hail Duke.
By someguy123 on 6/16/2011 12:53:24 AM , Rating: 2
Except it isn't even similar to duke 3D.

So, it's not a time capsule, not new age, and duke is just annoying instead of a badass.

How exactly is this good?

RE: All hail Duke.
By Reclaimer77 on 6/16/2011 10:52:52 AM , Rating: 2
You've made your opinion clear. Time to move on, nobody cares what you think. If you think we wanted an exact copy of Duke3D with updated graphics, you're sorely mistaken. The developers took creative liberties, so what?

We wanted Duke and we got Duke, if you don't get that then the game isn't for you.

Are you a robot or something? You seriously don't have ANY guilty pleasures? Things you enjoy that, objectively, others might say is "bad"? Why is it so hard for you people to understand this game...

RE: All hail Duke.
By MistaP on 6/16/2011 3:31:04 PM , Rating: 2
Hell, it doesn't even have to be things someone ejoys that others think is bad. Things one enjoys that others don't. Reading how people are talking; apparently if you like this game then you are a terrible person, not only for finding it funny, but for enjoying the gameplay too.

RE: All hail Duke.
By someguy123 on 6/16/2011 3:34:40 PM , Rating: 2
I don't have anything against people enjoying the game.

It's just hilariously absurd to bash people for disliking a game based on gameplay and "not getting it", then to turn around and claim people are being old farts and not accepting your personal opinion.

Is it really that hard to see the hypocrisy in this?

RE: All hail Duke.
By MistaP on 6/16/2011 4:23:34 PM , Rating: 2
Where did it all start? A review written with the tone that no reasonable person could or should like this; which naturally makes people who don't sure that opinion defensive. (Exaggeration but you get what I mean.) Then people start commenting on it some agree some don't. Then the people who like it feel the others must not "get it" only to be told over and over agian why they are wrong. Saying someone doesn't "get it" isn't an insult. I don't "get" broadway musicals. I see nothing that someone could find appeling about them, yet many people love them. Now, if / when people tell me I must be like a "12 year old" or have "no brains" or "no culture" (to fit the example of musicals) ... that borders along the lines of bashing.

That is basically why this comment section is where it is.

RE: All hail Duke.
By someguy123 on 6/16/2011 9:49:38 PM , Rating: 2
Well it's more understandable when people are insulting others that are enjoying this game.

Lots of guys in here are merely pointing out that they don't find it funny and the gameplay doesn't make up for it, and they're just berated by floods of "you don't get it" or "turn off your brain" or some such. These aren't really arguments for the quality of the game. They're more arguments for how to alter yourself to meet the games appeal, which doesn't make a lot of sense.

RE: All hail Duke.
By MistaP on 6/17/2011 9:23:05 AM , Rating: 2
All I can say to that is welcome to the internet.

RE: All hail Duke.
By someguy123 on 6/16/2011 3:39:20 PM , Rating: 2
Not "getting it" isn't an argument.

I could use the same thing against you. You don't "get" the Duke at all. Duke wasn't look this in the old games. Why is it so hard for you people to "get" the Duke?

See what I did there?

Any I really don't care if you like the game, that's a matter of a opinion. It's just peoples obnoxious attitude against people rating this game poorly that is hilariously hypocritical.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Reclaimer77 on 6/16/2011 7:03:36 PM , Rating: 2
Because you are, for lack of a better term, being a hater. That's why. And it's not hypocritical at all. People have a right to an opinion, but people also have a right to an opinion about your opinion.

Not "getting it" isn't an argument.

Yes it is. It clearly is. I don't "get" The Office, but millions of people and most of my friends love it. Does that mean the show truly sucks just because I think it is, or do I just not "get it"?

See what I did there?

Poor grammar, a lousy premise, and an attempt at logic that only a child would love? Yeah, I see it...

RE: All hail Duke.
By someguy123 on 6/16/2011 9:46:45 PM , Rating: 3
Of course, insult someone instead of making a point. Real classy.

Basically, you don't get the Duke at all, which is why you like this game. It's understandable. This game appeals to you because you don't actually like Duke, you like the anti-PCness.

RE: All hail Duke.
By The0ne on 6/17/2011 3:42:28 PM , Rating: 2
Your response here is ripped off of a game magazine or review. Almost word word lol.

For haters and those that really don't know what they're talking about I will provide this link so you can educate yourself.

"Duke Nukem 3D was controversial, because of its depictions of sexuality, pornography, obscenities, graphic violence, drug use, and other taboo topics. This caused the game to be banned in Brazil and, in other countries, the sale of the game was strictly regulated against purchase by minors. Despite this, Duke Nukem 3D was a commercial and critical success for 3D Realms."

Iaken, you enjoyed and still enjoy Duke3D. So when did you have balls to say DNF is...whatever you said.

Again, this is really about people 10-15 years younger that enjoyed this kind of humor. Hell, I even enjoyed the humor in Postal (used it in my first response btw if people didtn' catch that >.> ). But older now and no I don't see much enjoyment in it unless I want to fool myself and relive the old days lol.

Lastly, you people seriously think humor in all its form hasn't changed in 10-15 years? :) It's more "out there" now to say the least hehehe

RE: All hail Duke.
By Uncle on 6/15/2011 6:14:15 PM , Rating: 2
I did the "Try before you buy" and I'm not paying $59.99 to ""get" the glory that is duke". It just doesn't cut it. Oh does my bad review mean I'm not going to be able to test another game from this company.

RE: All hail Duke.
By MistaP on 6/16/2011 4:28:05 PM , Rating: 2
I enjoyed the game a lot and "not getting" it isn't good or bad. It just is what it is.

I like to comment and defend the game ... but there is nothing I can say to defend the claim made by T2's PR folks threatening reviewers.

RE: All hail Duke.
By TSS on 6/15/2011 8:55:09 PM , Rating: 2

Appearantly the world no longer gets the glory that is duke if this game sells at all.

Buying this game because it's duke is like buying a turd with a buzzcut because it's duke. It's not duke in any aspect but the name.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Samus on 6/16/2011 3:26:23 AM , Rating: 2
I just finished it and thought it was fine.

RE: All hail Duke.
By Uncle on 6/16/2011 10:38:44 AM , Rating: 2
Its the characters, it looks like they were paper cutouts pasted in to the scenes. Horribly done. The rest was ok but not worth $59.99 compared to other games at that price range.$19.99 max for effort.

RE: All hail Duke.
By FITCamaro on 6/16/2011 12:09:31 PM , Rating: 2
I'll admit I was at Best Buy last night and thought about getting it. $60 though was a little too much to pay. I'll wait a month or so for it to drop down to $40.

Grains of Salt Needed
By MistaP on 6/15/2011 1:37:59 PM , Rating: 3
If you are basing you judgement of this game based on what these reviewers are claiming you may want to take it with a grain of salt. The game is no game of the year contender and was never really billed so. The hype the T2 pushed for the game was really more driven by the fact that it actually was going to be released. The reviewers are flipping out and trying to take the game to task because THEY imagined it was going to be something it never was supposed to be. Like I said it is no game of the year contender but still a very fun game. It has portions of frantic blasting, cheezy one liners, and over the top egotistical male humor ... exactly what Duke was always known for. Nothing more nothing less ... I don't know why all these people expected a genre changing game when nothing about what T2 released on their efforts into the game (trailers, the demo, and whatnot) indicated such.

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By Argon18 on 6/15/2011 1:49:06 PM , Rating: 5
Exactly. This game is for those of us who played the original Duke Nukem 3D game in the 90's, back when it was new. If you weren't around then, and never played the original, you can never understand this new remake. From the ARS review, the reviewer complains that "It all feels like something out of a game from 15 years ago." Yes, yes that is exactly the point.

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By TheDoc9 on 6/15/2011 1:55:55 PM , Rating: 2
Thanks for the info, I might pick it up now.

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By Lucid48 on 6/15/2011 2:00:47 PM , Rating: 2
I so glad it's exactly how it was 15yrs ago... If they had changed the duke formula they may have ruined it. Just PURE FUN!

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By MistaP on 6/15/2011 2:25:58 PM , Rating: 2
That is all it is a throwback to the old days. Hell even when you start the game you can find a room in your penthouse that is full of trophies and framed pictures and its all relics from the old games. Some of the pictures are literally 8bit screengrabs from the old sidescrollers.

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By cmdrdredd on 6/15/2011 4:25:43 PM , Rating: 1
I played the original, I liked the original. What changed to make me say this game is a piece of shit?

1) It's 11 years too late. Seriously, this would look and play well back in 2000 but today it's utter bullshit. Go play Crysis 2, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, fuck even Far cry 2 or Half-Life 2 and you'll see what a modern shooter is supposed to play like.

2) The jokes are fucking lame. Unless you're 12 years old it's not even funny. Sure maybe you'll chuckle at a few raunchy bits but really...I'm not 12 and I don't give a fuck how graphic you can get. You can be funny without going out of your way to shock you and it's not all about being PC. I'm not offended by anything but this game is just retarded. It's for people with no brain or something.

3) So without a special suit you can regen health? WTF

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By MistaP on 6/15/2011 4:51:40 PM , Rating: 2
It’s all about perception and preference. As many people have said many of the people who dislike the game to an extreme degree were expecting something the game wasn’t meant to or even attempt to be. This apparently where you fall it seems as you comparing it to games like Crysis, CODmw,, HL2, FC2, etc (all of which, with the exception of HL2, I found to be pretty boring … again it’s all perception and preference) as to that is what a shooter should play like. A shooter can play however the designers want it to play … and you can pick from these shooters and play the ones that play the way you like. The fact that you, and many others here, feel the need to talk down about the people who would enjoy it (no brain, 12 year olds, etc) is quite interesting … quite like a “12 year old” on x-box playing MW2 … Hmmmmm … I am starting to put the pieces of this puzzle together …

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By someguy123 on 6/15/2011 5:50:07 PM , Rating: 3
A lot of people talk about how this game is "meant to be" like the original duke.

The original duke really wasn't like this game. It wasn't really that offensive, and, at the time, it had great gameplay.

I question whether people have actually played the original and aren't just using it as an excuse for people not "getting" the sequel.

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By Reclaimer77 on 6/16/2011 11:02:31 AM , Rating: 1
The original duke really wasn't like this game. It wasn't really that offensive, and, at the time, it had great gameplay.

Great gameplay compared to WHAT? I can't even list off any other shooters from that same time period of ANY consequence. Duke was in a class of it's own. Not even Doom could really stand up to it, and that was a GREAT and fun game.

I'm so sorry that 15 years later, after gillions of copy-cat games and tactical shooters, that you don't think a homage to Duke has "great" gameplay.

God you're a dipshit, you just do NOT get it!

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By Donovan on 6/16/2011 12:02:00 PM , Rating: 2
I can't even list off any other shooters from that same time period of ANY consequence.
Does "I ain't afraid of no Quake" ring any bells?

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By Reclaimer77 on 6/16/2011 12:27:26 PM , Rating: 2
Okay so Quake, Doom, and Duke Nukem. Still, compare that to today when there are like dozens of shooters.

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By Iaiken on 6/16/2011 3:18:16 PM , Rating: 2
When I played it, the ONLY game I was comparing it to was DN3D and the two games have only the titular character, some weapons and neat boss fights in common. Everything else is just a huge pile of fail.

Go pull open the old level editor and compare how huge and awesome those levels were. The real irony of the new game is that while the sprites made the change from faceted sprite to 3D model, the levels went from large 3D environments to point-A-to-B railroads.

In DN3D you had to go out of your way to find the edgy stuff. It used to be a treat, something you had to go looking for and when you found it you were all "Haha! Booby jackpot!" DNF just throws it right in your face over and over again from start to finish to the point that it just becomes annoying.

What used to be the icing, became the cake. Heck, some friends and I even started joking that the poo achievement is basically a societal litmus test.

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By The0ne on 6/18/2011 12:04:57 AM , Rating: 2
So you're now pissed that easter egg, hidden power-ups, free exploration and such are too easy in DNF. Hmm, great. Lets head back to 10-15 years again. There's a interesting article on about how easter eggs and such got started and how it became the "norm" in today's game. Remember Konami's code for many of its games? You should :D

Well, today games don't go out of their way to make it difficult or challenging for the player to get the "edgy" stuff, whatever that means. Players today seem lazy to me actually. So what if DNF caters to that, is that a crime? No it isn't. Other games have done this yet still get praises. It's ok if you don't like the game, as I don't like it much either but don't make up stuff that clearly you haven't done much research into.

As an example, Dungeon Siege 3 is coming out. It's linear. No more exploration/free roaming for you. It's a hack and slash rpg like Diablo. Graphics is subpar not 3D like witcher 2 or even the crappy Daggerdale. The interface sucks, the camera is limited and thus sucks, the movement keys sucks, gamepad support sucks. I wanna see you try this game and give the same bashing you did for DNF :) Actually, fairly evaluate any FPS for that matter.

As someone earlier stated about FPS being subjective it is rightly so. I started enjoying Farcry 2 til aliens came into play. I started enjoying Crysis until aliens came into play.

Actually, instead of going off tangent let me just link the crack post, it's blast to read :)

Is this where you want your games to go Iaken? :) I'll go postal if ever this comes about.

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By Reclaimer77 on 6/16/2011 12:39:24 AM , Rating: 3
From the ARS review, the reviewer complains that "It all feels like something out of a game from 15 years ago."

He actually said that??

/facepalm. What a dumbass...

RE: Grains of Salt Needed
By robinthakur on 6/16/2011 5:49:41 AM , Rating: 2
I remember playing the original DN3D back in the day when I was a teenager and could never play it for very long because I got motion sickness after about half to an hour. I never really understood what the big deal was about the game, to be honest. I judged it purely on its merits as a shooter and it was fairly competant, some nice boss designs and aliens, but this big mythology that has built up around it is a little weird...

By JasonMick on 6/15/2011 1:32:26 PM , Rating: 2
it's not funny, and it makes you feel dirty

Really? "Dirty" in a bad way? The trailers all seemed pretty funny... I mean I think most people expected that to be the only thing it really had going for it.

I mean, if it fails in that department, it'd be a complete fail. Has anyone played it? What are your thoughts?


RE: Humor...
By MrBlastman on 6/15/2011 2:27:57 PM , Rating: 5
I picked it up yesterday via my pre-order. It is cathartic but enjoyable. The letdown isn't that it is ultra-amazing, world changing entertainment, but rather the concessions George Broussard made later on in development.

Back in 2008, when Jace Hall showed us footage from inside 3dRealms, the game had no carry limit for weapons. That changed of course in the final release. You can only carry two weapons at a time (three if you count pipebombs thankfully). You also have regenerating health a la Halo (what kinda crap is this?) instead of what they intended--you to regenerate health as you killed things and did raucous acts.

So yeah, those two concessions alone are dissapointing to someone who purely enjoys oldschool shooter style (Quake/Doom/Duke3d etc.--which I still play all the time). The level design so far seems rail-shooter based as well(I haven't gotten that far yet) so many of us oldschool people hate the Half-Life 2 on rails approach. However, Duke still lives on it spiritually. He's crude, crass and doesn't take crap from nobody.

He's a purile, 80's action hero that is narcissistic and mysoginistic. In essence, he's the embodiment of escaping from a boring, stuck up, politically correct world.

It's fun. That's all it really needs to be.

RE: Humor...
By blppt on 6/15/2011 2:41:31 PM , Rating: 2
I have absolutely no problem with the humor--I agree with a lot of you here, WTF were these people expecting from Duke Nukem? Did they play D3D, DN, DN2, etc. at all???

HOWEVER, the game itself other than Duke's awesome character is just plain boring, and for that reason I dont think it is worth more than a $50 trip down memory lane. Replace Duke with another character, and it would likely go down as "Most Uninteresting Shooter of 2011".

Look at this another way: Consider that if you buy it, you may at least ensure than a "pure" Gearbox DNF2 gets made, and THEN we can possibly get a revolutionary, or at least contemporarily competitive game. That was my #1 factor in pushing the "buy" button after reading so many negative reviews. Remember, GB didnt give themselves much leeway in changing the original 15+ year vision of 3drealms for this game, and they did make Borderlands, which ruled.

Oh yeah, and Crossfire sucks on this game. It has a constant case of the jitters on my 5970 until I disable CF in CCC.

RE: Humor...
By Xed on 6/15/2011 6:30:56 PM , Rating: 2
I knew Mick would love Duke.

"Spell checkers are for pussies!" ;)

RE: Humor...
By slunkius on 6/16/2011 1:35:49 AM , Rating: 2
played for about 2 hours. total letdown. Constant loading screens, and boring action. for example, game loads a new are, you get in into vent pipe, crawl a bit, through the grill see some aliens running, jump out at the other room and get another loading screen...

By Argon18 on 6/15/11, Rating: 0
RE: hilarious!
By clhathat on 6/15/2011 2:14:00 PM , Rating: 3
to requote Brandon, funny in junior high, not so much now...

RE: hilarious!
By Motoman on 6/15/2011 2:54:10 PM , Rating: 1
...FWIW, peeps, cigarettes in the UK are generally referred to as "fags" (maybe "faggs" - not sure how to spell it).

RE: hilarious!
By Belard on 6/15/2011 4:26:06 PM , Rating: 1
Yet us humans... will still laugh at fart jokes and want to leave in a world like Leave it to beaver.

hehehe... I said BEAVER... get it... Beeeeeeeeeaver.

RE: hilarious!
By theapparition on 6/15/11, Rating: 0
RE: hilarious!
By AnnihilatorX on 6/16/2011 3:43:40 AM , Rating: 2
You realist the joke is made by the reviewer, and not a quote from the game... Now what's your point son?

RE: hilarious!
By AnnihilatorX on 6/16/2011 3:44:11 AM , Rating: 2
realist -> realize**

RE: hilarious!
By LRonaldHubbs on 6/16/2011 10:31:28 AM , Rating: 1
No, you're wrong. The quoted statement about the pack of Faggs is in the game.

RE: hilarious!
By LRonaldHubbs on 6/16/2011 4:51:59 PM , Rating: 1
Let me reword. The statement is not in the game. The pack of Faggs described by the statement is in the game.

By someguy123 on 6/16/2011 1:00:12 AM , Rating: 2
And how people don't get it, how about actually playing DN3D?

It's free!

By someguy123 on 6/16/2011 1:00:51 AM , Rating: 2
Forgot to mention, also nothing like DNF.

By MistaP on 6/16/2011 3:24:21 PM , Rating: 2
Yes because people don't agree with you and actually "get it" means they must have never played the original and need your all knowing guidance.

By someguy123 on 6/16/2011 9:51:54 PM , Rating: 2
Not really.

You can "get" this one. There's not much to get. The appeal is that it's flagrant and in your face.

That doesn't make it like the original, though, which makes arguing that it's "true to the original" ridiculous.

By Reclaimer77 on 6/16/2011 10:30:38 PM , Rating: 2
I think you should make your own shooter. Call it "Someguy VS. The World". Sorta like you on this topic...

By smackababy on 6/15/2011 2:06:27 PM , Rating: 2
Have of these reviewers played a Duke Nukem game before? Also, I'd wager they complain about how "bad" the humor is, yet love South Park and Daniel Tosh.

RE: um?
By killerroach on 6/15/2011 2:39:39 PM , Rating: 2
The Ars Technica review came off as a writer trying to say "I'm too advanced of a being to get any enjoyment from something like this." A projection of cultural superiority, which, granted, critics tend to do pretty well.

I've played a couple of hours into it so far - it's not really so much bad or good as it is old. If it were competing against Quake 4 or FEAR, it probably would've been thought of as above-average. Now? It looks rough around the edges, to put it nicely. All I can hope is that Gearbox actually makes a proper Duke Nukem game, rather than just putting the crap that 3D Realms put together in a playable state.

RE: um?
By MistaP on 6/15/2011 4:59:45 PM , Rating: 3
It is very much like Quake 4 and really should have come out in that time frame or earlier as we know. I still find it to be a blast, but I can also say it will be a "one and done." Once you have beaten it there isn't a ton of replay value there. Quake 4 was this way as well. I am just not sure, considering this games epic history of development blunders, why people expected so much more. I am just happe gearbox finished it off and is letting us get to see it.

Most FUN in a long time.
By Lucid48 on 6/15/2011 1:52:26 PM , Rating: 2
This is just how I remembered the original Duke 3d back when I was looking at pixelated boobs in my bed room. LOL I'm 32 now and still love duke.

In the first 20min of the game I splattered poop every where. Got a BJ from 2 girls and swore incessantly! This game is WAY over the top. Lewd,Crude and a lot of FUN!!!!

Anyone who write a review based on the above needs to learn to have some fun. This isn't call of duty of bad company, it's just a play toy for dirty men. =)

All I could have ever wanted in the sequel!

RE: Most FUN in a long time.
By Mortando on 6/15/2011 6:31:04 PM , Rating: 2
In the first 20min of the game I splattered poop every where. Got a BJ from 2 girls and swore incessantly!

Well that's interesting and all but what happened in the game?

RE: Most FUN in a long time.
By LRonaldHubbs on 6/16/2011 4:50:56 PM , Rating: 2
Well, let's see (minor spoiler alert)...

I operated a wrecking ball whilst making testicle jokes, tickled a few buttholes, executed countless naked alien-impregnated women (who happened to exhibit some very high-quality boob jiggle animation), slapped some wall titties, slew a gigantic triple-boobed alien queen, got drunk off my ass, received a blowjob through a glory hole, kicked ass in a game of alien-abortion whack-a-mole, was told backstage by a naked and very top-heavy woman that she wanted to have my babies, and topped it all off with a lap dance from a very sexy brunette.

Oh, but that's just what I did for an hour or two yesterday. There's more...

DNF is not a good Game and here is why
By Xarthos on 6/16/2011 1:24:12 PM , Rating: 2
Quickly I want to point out the most important things from the reviews that are the genuine reasons not to purchase:
1. Linear Level design: do you guys remember all the exploration you could do in Duke 3D? That is gone.
2. Weapon Switching. You can only carry 2 at any time. Why has this become a standard when clearly a Duke game was never about realism. This was a obvious mistake.
3. Health system- should have been healthpacks again. It's more fun.
4. Graphics - there have been a lot of reviews talking about the sub par graphics and slowdowns in many of the versions out.

These are all valid reasons to say DNF is really not a game you should buy. You don't have to listen but at least look at these points because they do have merit.

By MistaP on 6/16/2011 3:18:57 PM , Rating: 2
The graphics, while are no Crysis or Metro 2033 are not that bad on PC and I have no slowdowns or glitches. Granted I am on a OCed i965EE at 4.2ghz with Dual eVGA GeForce GTX480Superclocks and playing the game in full glorifying 3d with nVidias 3D Vision setup ... :D

I think your other points as to why it is bad are a matter of personal opinion.

By LRonaldHubbs on 6/16/2011 3:19:29 PM , Rating: 2
Agreed, these are valid flaws to point out about the game, unlike most of the things people are fussing over. However, the lag complaint I have seen pertained to the console version. I'm playing it on a three-year-old PC (Q9550, 8GB, conventional hard disk) with a Radeon 5870, and I see no lag issues. Also the loading times are not so bad.

The same will probably happen with Serious Sam 3
By MistaP on 6/15/2011 2:22:11 PM , Rating: 3
The same thing will probably be said about Serious Sam 3. It also is supposed to be a throwback to the days of running and gunning with hordes of baddies charing at you. They will probably talk about how bad the mechanics are and this and that completely ignoring the fact the games slogan is "All Man, No Cover" or bash the game just because it mocks their beloved Gears of War and Call of Duty games ... meh professional reviewers have been irrelevant in my eyes for a LOOOOONG time. Apparently they aren't irrelevant to people trading stocks though ...

By inperfectdarkness on 6/15/2011 10:57:50 PM , Rating: 2
agreed. i'd REALLY hate to hear what the critics will say about postal 3.

What I want...
By Smilin on 6/15/2011 2:47:04 PM , Rating: 2
First: If reviews are spooking investors then they are dumbasses.

Case in point: Myself like many (not all) others are pre-ordering this game without looking at the reviews. I'm not in Jr. High any more so this won't appeal? We'll guess what? I'm not in Jr. High now so I can also afford to literally burn a $50 bill.

Next: What I want..
1. Secrets. FPS games had secret areas back in the day. Those were fun and not found often anymore.
2. Variety. Now it's an AK vs an AR for variety. Dude I wanna freeze someone then shatter them. Find such an "exotic" mechanic in todays games and it will be the focus of the game. F'n Holoduke? Nobody does that crap anymore. Writing the code for a pipe bomb means the Devs have to get off their ass instead of just pawning stuff off to the level designers.
3. Humor. Yes immature potty humor won't literally drop me to the floor but then again it didn't 15 years ago either. Weak comedy is better than no comedy. It's called fun...pull the stick out your asses.
5. Length. The original Duke went on forever. The first "episode" of the original game was about the length of full games today. Note: This actually is one of the disturbing things I've heard in reviews..If you skip secrets, exploration, and general goofing off the game can be finished in ~10hrs. I'm hoping for about triple.

RE: What I want...
By Strunf on 6/15/2011 6:58:12 PM , Rating: 2
Well the Crysis 2 easter egg was actually quite funny

and there a few others too.

Great Game
By LRonaldHubbs on 6/18/2011 9:35:22 PM , Rating: 2
Okay, having played this game through to the end now, gotten most achievements, and played all the mini games, I can honestly say the reviews are full of it. This game is awesome. I enjoyed the entire thing. It's not as good as HL2, or Bioshock, or Bordlerands, but I definitely enjoyed it as much as I did Portal 2. It's a better game than Halo, Far Cry 2, Doom 3, CoD 5 (haven't played any more CoD games since they sold out to consoles), or Crysis, to name a few. I'd put it on par with Quake 4, which I also thought was a great game. I see Quake 4 has an 81% on Metacritic...that's about where I'd rank DNF.

The Duke Burger chapter is amazing. The entire monster truck chapter(s) are amazing. The Hoover Dam escape sequence may be linear and scripted, but it's easily of the same level of quality as anything you'll find in a CoD game. And the strip bar is very well done. Even if you ignore the strippers, you could spend hours playing the mini-games (poker, slots, pool, pinball, basketball, whack-a-mole, and air hockey). My only complaint is that they stole way too many famous quotes for Duke to say instead creating original ones.

The biggest complaints I have seen are 1) dated graphics, 2) inventory and health system, 3) sexist and crude.

1) Yes the graphics are dated. But you have to admit, for being a modified version of the UT2K4 engine (UE2.5), it looks pretty friggen good. Ironic that people bash it for this when CoD games are still using the Quake 3 engine and don't really look any better than this.

2) Yes, carrying only two weapons is lame, I'd like to carry them all. Yes I also wish they had a health-pickup system instead of the now standard regen system. Yes it is ironic that they bash Halo in the game but use these schemes which Halo popularized. That's all made up for by the fact that it's more enjoyable than Halo.

3) Duke Nukem has always been crude. It has always been sexist. The women being abducted for breeding purposes is not new. They did exactly the same thing in Duke3D. They even had the naked women in the pregnator pods in Duke3D. It just seems more horrific now because the graphics and sound effects are fancier. Yes the game objectifies women. The entire point has always been that Duke is a super badass and all the women want him. So what? He's the Duke. People who are complaining about this game being offensive need to wash the sand out of their vaginas. Yes the hive chapter was creepy, but given that it's not real, it didn't bother me. That does not make me a sociopath as some reviews (Ars) have claimed. A sociopath would be indifferent to such atrocities IRL. This game is not real life. It seems many of the reviewers fail to make that distinction.

Overall, I say it was $45 well spent. Scratch that...$135 well spent. I found out about the Balls of Steel edition after I had already pre-ordered on Steam, and I bought it too. I hope Gearbox makes good on their promise of a follow-on.

RE: Great Game
By LRonaldHubbs on 6/19/2011 1:49:35 PM , Rating: 2
I would like to prevent further evidence that most of the DNF reviewers are #&@%ing idiots.

Exhibit A: SiN Episodes Emergence, which has a 75% on Metacritic. It is one of the worst games I have ever had the misfortune of playing and is an abomination compared with the awesomeness of the original. DNF is better than SiNEE in every conceivable way, yet look at the reviews.

Exhibit B: Bet on Soldier, which has a 56% on Metacritic. This really is the single worst game I have ever played. The game has no redeeming qualities. The story is retarded and has nothing to do with the gameplay, and the action sequences aren't even fun. How the #&@% can anyone give DNF the same score as this game? Someone who doesn't know a #&@%ing thing about what constitutes a 'good' game, that's who.

Seriously, I dare anyone reading this to play SiNEE, BoS, and DNF, and tell me that they honestly think DNF is a not vastly better game.

By KrayLoN on 6/15/2011 2:00:16 PM , Rating: 2
For those of us who enjoyed the crude Duke, we better get our copy now before it gets pulled off the shelves by those same people who claim video games cause people to be violent.

Worth the wait!
By BugblatterIII on 6/15/2011 2:07:51 PM , Rating: 2
We can probably have more fun slagging this off than we'd have had playing the game if it'd been good.

This is also why crap movies were invented.

By adiposity on 6/15/2011 3:03:26 PM , Rating: 2
I doubt Duke had much of an impact on take 2 stock. It's been steadily falling since mid-may, and Duke didn't really change that. I'm not saying investors didn't notice Duke, but the whole stock market is down today and yesterday, so...

By petrosy on 6/15/2011 9:32:50 PM , Rating: 2
The only thing offensive about this game is that out feels and plays like a crappy console port...and a dated one at best. It makes me feel dirty for having wasted my money on such a pile of crap......seriously this game is not even worth pirating.

The death of a legend.

It is duke!
By Revive5 on 6/16/2011 2:30:33 AM , Rating: 2
I really don't get the bad reviews. It's not perfect. I don't think anyone was expecting perfect after what it went through. For me at least it is Duke though.

I would give it about 8/10 and was kind of sad when it ended. Don't know how much it was about nostalgia, but seemed like decent fun. I laughed out loud at several jokes, not all hit their marks, but most games have trouble causing even mild chuckle.

If they make DLC, I'm buying. Hopefully next Duke will get a dedicated team and come out faster.

Honestly, it sounds great
By piroroadkill on 6/16/2011 9:38:25 AM , Rating: 2
Crude, stupid, hugely offensive, masculine one-liners...

It's exactly the game it should be. That said, I'm not picking it up until it drops in price.

The larger picture
By Breakfast Susej on 6/16/2011 11:31:16 AM , Rating: 2
In my view of things the larger picture isn't that they released Duke Nukem forever. It's that they acquired the Duke Nukem IP.

I don't really envision that a game developer could release a game like this without knowing it was weak to start with. Anyone that looks at it can see clearly that it is technically not all that impressive. Some old timers are having fun with it based on nostalgia, and it is still oddly enough topping sales charts. At the end of the day though, I am confident in my belief that the developer knew full well it was far from a AAA title, and didn't care at all.

In their position, perhaps they saw an opportunity to both pick up the Duke IP, and release what they had with the hopes of breaking even or even turning some small profit. How often do you get to purchase a big name IP and still break even or profit at the same time?

I think down the road there will be a AAA Duke title, but this is not and never was going to be it.

To That I say...
By dxf2891 on 6/30/2011 8:57:46 AM , Rating: 2
I'm a staunch Duke Nukem fan. I have been since I heard him utter that famous line from They Live ,"I'm here to kick @$$ and chew bubblegum, but I'm all out of bubblegum." In this age of political-correctness, I believe the reviewers were attempting to lord their high-brow, intellectual inferiority over the rest of us.

By macca007 on 6/16/2011 3:47:20 AM , Rating: 1
It was ruined because of the toned down console like gameplay/graphics just like a few other top games I need not mention. Those pc gamers that played original most likely have $5k+ pc's now(myself included) with overclocked cpu's and gpu's in SLI/crossfire and are wondering WTF is this shit, I waited over a decade and it's a case of press start to enter! LOL
The humour is good,The titties are good but it's a mature game not some console game that mostly kids can only afford, You f*&%$d up right there!
Bring back the PC game, Reduce quality for consoles from high end pc version, Don't produce some shitty console version and expect pc gamers to be happy about it. Hardware industry better wake the f*&k up as well, Not just game companies, You realise that hardcore gamers who willingly spend cash on latest tech have no real need in future to purchase latest gen cpus/gpus if it's only gonna be toned down to 4+ year old console generation hardware! That effects whole industry as those early adopters won't be there to force prices down for the rest of you mainstream gamers! Any new start up game studio,Now is your f'ing chance to make an absolute fortune, Release a killer pc game that pushes pc to limit and the world is yours, I would happily pay an extra $20 on top of retail if i could utilize my hardware to it's fullest potential. I am sure others that have spent a small fortune on pc would do the same. Extra $20 on game is nothing if you have spent $5k+ on a gaming pc beast sitting there doing stuff all.

“And I don't know why [Apple is] acting like it’s superior. I don't even get it. What are they trying to say?” -- Bill Gates on the Mac ads
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