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Print 42 comment(s) - last by overlandpark4m.. on May 9 at 1:42 AM


  (Source: Warner Bros.)
Al Qaeda was plotting cruiser hijackings, gun attacks similar to Norway's terrorist

In the category of news items that might explain why an excess of petroleum jelly was found in the home of deceased terrorist supervillain Osama Bin Laden, the international intelligence community claims to have found a massive treasure trove of plans from top ranking Al Qaeda officials hidden inside a pornographic movie.

The surprising contents were found almost a year ago during the May 16, 2011 detainment of Austrian Maqsood Lodin, 22, who returned overland to Germany after a trip to what is known as militant regions of Pakistan.  The investigators found a memory card hidden in his pants.  On that card were numerous files including one which seemed typical enough for a 22 year old male -- porn.

But hidden inside the pornographic movie -- "Kick Ass" -- German investigators discovered an encryption-protected data file, which was also masked by sophisticated software.  When they finally decrypted the file four weeks later, they gained access to a treasure trove of over 100 documents, detailing high-level Al Qaeda plans for terrorists attacks in the U.S. and Europe.

The documents hint that Al Qaeda is facing an identity crisis, having been unable to carry out a major attack in several years, its vision of destruction continually thwarted.  One document suggests faster training for Al Qaeda operatives, to avoid law enforcement scrutiny.  Traditionally Al Qaeda recruits trained for months or years, fighting in Afghanistan or Pakistan.  However, the international intelligence community has learned to flag anyone who goes on one of these "extended stays" as a person of high interest, making it nearly impossible for them to effectively attack.

SD Card
A member of Al Qaeda hid hundreds of documents detailing terrorist plots inside an encrypted extension to a porn movie, housed on a memory card. [Image Source: Radioshack]

Terrorist training manuals in English, Arabic, and German were found hidden inside the porn movie.

The documents also hint at a change in strategy for Al Qaeda.  While they mentioned plans for a flashy cruiser hijacking, which would be geared at forcing America to release detained terrorism suspects from Guatanamo Bay, a second wave of simpler attacks was also planned.

The key strategy would be to buy automatic and semiautomatic weapons and use gun violence to kill many people, a successful strategy employed by a recent terrorist in Norway (76 confirmed deaths) and by terrorists in the Indian city of Mumbai in 2008 (164 confirmed deaths).

Mr. Lodin is now awaiting trial on terrorism charges in Germany.  He has plead not guilty.

Source: CNN



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Nice job
By corduroygt on 5/1/2012 5:16:47 PM , Rating: 5
How do I apply for the job? I would meticulously and exhaustively look through all porn to find Al Queda documents.




RE: Nice job
By jimbojimbo on 5/1/2012 5:32:10 PM , Rating: 3
You going to examine that petroleum jelly too?


RE: Nice job
By GulWestfale on 5/1/2012 7:53:30 PM , Rating: 2
but... is it pakistani porn or german porn?


RE: Nice job
By quiksilvr on 5/2/2012 8:45:51 AM , Rating: 2
...Pakistan has porn?


RE: Nice job
By Demon-Xanth on 5/2/2012 11:11:28 AM , Rating: 4
It's Afghanistanimation!


RE: Nice job
By spamreader1 on 5/2/2012 11:14:49 AM , Rating: 5
They show ankles, and sometimes knees..../gasp


RE: Nice job
By StevoLincolnite on 5/2/2012 9:24:05 AM , Rating: 3
quote:
but... is it pakistani porn or german porn?


That would be like bed-sheets going at it wouldn't it? Hardly exciting...


RE: Nice job
By The Raven on 5/1/2012 5:36:26 PM , Rating: 5
Looking through porn all day? They have that same job at the SEC.


RE: Nice job
By Adam M on 5/1/2012 5:39:39 PM , Rating: 2
I find it strange that porn, a product of the western great Satan, was used to smuggle/hide key documents for a group of Muslim extremists. Isn't pornography vile, detestable and against their beliefs? It is almost enough to make me question the credibility of the find.


RE: Nice job
By adiposity on 5/1/2012 5:47:20 PM , Rating: 2
They use the great Satan's tools againt him. The 9/11 terrorists were encouraged to drink and smoke to blend in, even though it's against their religion. God will forgive if it's for a greater cause.


RE: Nice job
By wifiwolf on 5/1/2012 6:04:36 PM , Rating: 3
Probably will forgive him if he uses he's left hand too


RE: Nice job
By MGSsancho on 5/1/2012 8:20:06 PM , Rating: 2
Pr0n is also the most commonly transferred video/image medium on the internet.


RE: Nice job
By ritualm on 5/1/2012 11:53:22 PM , Rating: 2
Wired once put a picture of very random looking static on its magazine and said "this is encrypted hardcore porn". Just imagine all the free porn on analog TV after decrypting the static!

Meanwhile, Bender gets off on wire diagram schematics.


RE: Nice job
By mattclary on 5/2/2012 9:14:05 AM , Rating: 2
Haven't you figured out yet that the more "moral" one claims to be, usually the darker your secrets? I don't doubt for a minute these guys are all about the porn.


RE: Nice job
By talikarni on 5/2/2012 4:23:00 PM , Rating: 2
Nope... part of Muslim culture allows the man to view other women via depictions, pictures, movies or anything however they want. Remember women are lower than dogs in their culture so porn is actually even more prevalent in the Middle East than it is in Europe or the US.


RE: Nice job
By mindless1 on 5/2/2012 9:45:40 PM , Rating: 1
Judging by the fact that it is fairly rare to find middle eastern porn (stars or language used) relative to american, european, or japanese, I'd have to disagree. Then again, I've never tried to look for any but even when not looking for pron I come across it from the aforementioned 3 countries.


RE: Nice job
By Jeffk464 on 5/1/2012 8:45:55 PM , Rating: 2
How do I apply for the job? I would meticulously and exhaustively look through all porn to find Al Queda documents.

Thanks to the new condom law for LA porn shoots LAPD is going to assign officers to watch all new porn video's shot in city limits. So it sounds like you just have to get a job with the LAPD.


RE: Nice job
By Camikazi on 5/2/2012 9:54:40 AM , Rating: 2
Are there enough LAPD officers to cover that? Judging by the way porn videos are released I guess about 50% of the city is in the porn industry and having sex at any time.


RE: Nice job
By The Raven on 5/2/2012 2:30:40 PM , Rating: 2
quote:
Judging by the way porn videos are released I guess about 50% of the city is in the porn industry and having sex at any time.
And from what I read in the paper, the other 50% of them are watching the pr0n. It is a wonder nothing ever gets done in LA.


RE: Nice job
By Etern205 on 5/2/2012 11:52:39 PM , Rating: 2
I doubt your brain is going to work :P

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/18/porn-brai...


RE: Nice job
By overlandpark4me on 5/9/2012 1:42:15 AM , Rating: 2
Using a link to Huffington for news is akin to using Paris Hilton as a preventive measure for herpes.


Christian terrorist...
By Captain Orgazmo on 5/1/12, Rating: 0
RE: Christian terrorist...
By Rookierookie on 5/1/12, Rating: 0
RE: Christian terrorist...
By Captain Orgazmo on 5/1/12, Rating: -1
RE: Christian terrorist...
By ClownPuncher on 5/1/2012 6:31:28 PM , Rating: 5
Jason is causing the fall of Western civilization?

All Muslims are terrorists?

Do you have a bunker in the woods?


RE: Christian terrorist...
By retrospooty on 5/1/2012 6:47:49 PM , Rating: 2
"ep, no problem calling a white mass-murderer a "Christian terrorist", even when he is a self proclaimed atheist. You wouldn't dare call Al-Qaeda "Muslim terrorists" though, would you. (Never mind that muslim terrorist is a redundant term.)"

WTF are you even talking about? Take your meds man. You hear the term muslim terrorist all over the place. Its like you have this giant rant all made up in your head and no real outlet for it (or reason).


RE: Christian terrorist...
By Captain Orgazmo on 5/1/2012 7:02:43 PM , Rating: 1
Thanks Jason for removing "Christian terrorist" from the opening line.


By StevoLincolnite on 5/2/2012 9:35:00 AM , Rating: 4
quote:
Thanks Jason for removing "Christian terrorist" from the opening line.


I don't see what the problem is... Christian's have and can be terrorists too.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_terrorism

In-fact... I suggest you read the book: "The Dark Side of Christian History" - Not pretty.
Christians have oppressed and brutalized millions of individuals, impacted upon human freedoms, dignity and spirituality.
Just read what they did during the Dark ages and their "honorable" crusades or how a large portion of Christianity still discriminates against Gay/Lesbian/Bi-Sexual people in general.

I respect whatever God people wish to believe in... But you cannot paint the Christian Church in a bright and golden light with the atrocities they have caused in history.


RE: Christian terrorist...
By gcor on 5/1/2012 9:25:59 PM , Rating: 5
quote:
Never mind that muslim terrorist is a redundant term


What the fah?

There have been, are, and will be many kinds of terrorists. The IRA and UVF are the two I'm most familiar with, having lived in Ireland.

I know and work with dozens of Muslim's, a few I consider friends. My understanding of their take on their religion is that it promotes peace and cooperation between people. A lot like the Christian religion I grew up with, which is different to the "Christian" values IRA and UVF members subscribe to.

Fortunately for all of us, both Christian and Muslim terrorists are a tiny minority of believers in those faiths. But sure, go ahead and instill more fear and hatred, cause that'll help.



RE: Christian terrorist...
By Jaybus on 5/3/2012 3:08:09 PM , Rating: 2
Yup. For the leaders of these organizations, "religion" is a tool used to recruit and control their own people. Usually, it is based (very loosely) on an existing legitimate religion. The real agenda is always about money and power. Not that it matters. The people upon whom these psychopaths prey must hunt them down purely as a matter of self preservation.


RE: Christian terrorist...
By Jahooba on 5/1/2012 9:47:17 PM , Rating: 2
I see where you're coming from. In this battle on terror we must be aggressive, but we can only be aggressive to a point. Viewing their religion as the problem is not the best way to look at it, though. The religion kinda gives them an excuse to do horrible things, but that's an extremely twisted view of the Muslim religion. Al Qaeda are basically militant psychopaths.

The war at this point is simply (or not so simply) organized crime on a mass scale. All we have to do is keep an eye on shady people. Shine some light into the dark corners that no one wants to think about.


RE: Christian terrorist...
By Captain Orgazmo on 5/1/2012 10:47:52 PM , Rating: 1
The majority of people born into the muslim world, by and large just wish to live out their lives in peace and happiness, like anyone else.

The problem is that their "religion", right or wrong, is a really a competing ideology that is not compatible with the ideals of the Western civilization. Robert Spencer has put forth an interesting theory that Muhammad and the idea of Islam as a religion was invented almost 60 years after the start of the muslim conquests from Arabia outward, as a way of uniting the various factions.

I can no longer believe that Islam is at its core a peaceful religion as the narrative goes. Reading the Quran and Haddiths will easily show anyone with an open mind what Islam is really about. It is ignorance of, or apathy towards the basic message of Islam that keeps the majority of muslims peaceful. If anywhere the spotlight needs to shine on Islam itself, because to confront an enemy, you must understand him, much like to confront an ideology, you must expose it fully, bringing its flaws to light.


RE: Christian terrorist...
By maugrimtr on 5/2/2012 8:49:02 AM , Rating: 2
Well, at least we can confirm that you're definitely not Christian. If you were, you'd know all about the core Christian message and how centuries of corrupt, bigoted and even ignorant influence turned that core message on its head to promote violent jihad against its enemies and the forced introduction of Christianity to the infidel pagans.

It's why I find US Republicans so hilarious - pro-life yet try to close a few tax loopholes so you can help people and they start to panic. How they reconcile two conflicting concepts is beyond me.

P.S. Pro-life Irish Catholic here.


RE: Christian terrorist...
By BikeDude on 5/2/2012 8:56:43 AM , Rating: 2
"Core Christian message"?

Pardon me, but to me it looks like you are only reading those sections that appeal the most to you, idly skipping over sentences such as "thou shall not suffer witches to live" and you probably ripped out the entire page dealing with Noa's drunken curse on one of his sons (the curse called for his son's offspring to have blackened skin and serve the offspring of Noa's other sons -- basically saying that it is ok to keep slaves as long as their skin is black, because God through Noa made it so)

The Koran is based on the bible. They ripped out those sections pertaining to alcohol (including the story of Noa's vineyard) and cleaned it up a bit.

The big difference however comes with their big prophet. Muslims believe, beyond all doubt, that God spoke to their prophet. Everything their prophet said must be taken literally. And of course, it goes without saying that the prophet's way of life (which includes beheading his enemies and marrying a six-year old girl) is commendable and a good guide for all muslims.

It is my understanding that in the first few centuries following the prophet's death, they methodically went through all the prophet's teachings and decided, once and for all, how to interpret the word of God. There can be no doubt e.g. that a muslim cannot eat the meat from a pig (though I hear they enjoy the taste of sausages if you tell them the sausages were made from turkey meat).

There have been no significant development in their society since.

In constrast, in Europe we have spent the last century molding Christianity in to an entity that is much easier to live with. Women finally have equal rights and gay people are almost free to do as they please. It was not more than fifty-sixty years ago that women had to cover their head in my country out of respect for the Christians.

Two years ago, in my country (Norway), three thousand muslims gathered in an illegal protest against some drawings published in a Danish newspaper (and subsequently in a Norwegian one). I.e. they were blatantly protesting against the freedom of expression.

That is quite radical. And it certainly shows that it isn't just a small minority of the muslims here that are radical. They are many and they are uneducated.

That combination is a problem.


RE: Christian terrorist...
By DougF on 5/3/2012 1:12:52 AM , Rating: 2
Almost, but no. Two points to remember when reading the Bible:
1) Context. The Bible, while the inspired word of God, is also a book of its time in history and so reflects values current at that time while still giving us God's Word.
2) God builds up, Evil tears down. Ever notice that trend? In every single situation in the Old Testament, those who choose to follow God are rewarded, those who fall away from God do the despicable things often mentioned. Abraham, Noah, David, Solomon, etc, all prove to be human and err, whether through drunkenness, curses, sleeping with a slave, murder, etc. Christianity is about Man learning how to walk closer to God, and it includes all of Man's shortcomings as both testament to the truth and as a window to our own souls/shortcomings as we struggle against the various sins.

As for Europe "molding" Christianity, it would be better to say that as the secular power of the Church declined, the Church (broadly speaking) has reverted to the basic tenets of Christianity. That reversion wasn't without controversy or blood being spilled, and continues to this day. The Church had a role to play in keeping what was left of Europe from falling completely into anarchy. But as we all know and the Bible so amply demonstrates, when your focus is not on God, the results are usually pretty ugly.


RE: Christian terrorist...
By retrospooty on 5/2/12, Rating: 0
RE: Christian terrorist...
By The Raven on 5/2/2012 2:25:16 PM , Rating: 2
quote:
I don't disagree with your assertion here, but to be really fair, it needs to include the whole tree, not just the Muslim branch. The whole western Jewish religion that later spawned Christianity and Islam are all a load of crap and are part of the problem here.
Yes, but you forget the root of that tree...the people who created, promoted and adhered to those religions. You can't say that it is God's fault that PEOPLE created whackadoo religions or took rational religions and twisted them up. My point is that it is not religion of any kind that causes these problems. It is people. I mean someone mentioned the IRA here. Terrorism in the name of liberty, right? So liberty is bad? Bad people are bad. Period.


RE: Christian terrorist...
By The Raven on 5/2/2012 2:27:23 PM , Rating: 2
Maybe I should've said the "seed" of the tree is the people. Then I could've said there are some "bad seeds" lol.


RE: Christian terrorist...
By retrospooty on 5/2/2012 4:13:44 PM , Rating: 2
Agreed. A nutjub will be a nutjob regardless of what religion was shoved down his through since birth. LOL


RE: Christian terrorist...
By The Raven on 5/3/2012 5:27:55 PM , Rating: 2
quote:
A nutjob

Where were you when I was typing that first comment?
I was thinking "a fruit" but then went with "bad seed" since there are good ones and bad ones. But "a nut" would've been good too.


Wrong title
By Rookierookie on 5/1/2012 6:18:37 PM , Rating: 5
False: Germans Find Treasure Trove of Al Qaeda Docs Hidden Within Porn Film

True: Germans Find Treasure Trove of Porn Film Hidden Within Al Qaeda Docs




a better strategy
By anandtech02148 on 5/1/2012 8:39:51 PM , Rating: 1
The more you kill, the more virgins you get in heaven.
also 1st prize is rosie o'donnell.




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