Print 76 comment(s) - last by LRonaldHubbs.. on May 14 at 7:23 AM

Ellen's fake iPhone commercial  (Source: Warner Brothers)
Ellen issues a hasty apology to avoid Apple's wrath

Self-proclaimed Apple product fan and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres isn't above poking a bit of fun at her gadgets of choice.  On a clip Monday, Ellen DeGeneres spoofed the iPhone commercials, showing that the interface can at times be clunky with simple chores like typing becoming a headache.

Apparently Apple wasn't very amused.  In a video Tuesday, Ellen said that Apple contacted her and was upset by the fake commercial.

Now you don't want to mess with Apple.  The company is more than willing to sue anybody -- asHTC knows far too well.  And the company has already shown that it isn't a big fan of satire; in fact, it's App store developer agreement has anti-satire provisions in it.

So in a long nervous apology, Ellen says that she really loves Apple products and that they're easy to use.  She even personally apologizes to the old Apple chief himself, Steve Jobs.

The video of that apology (which also contains the original faux commercial) can be found here.

Hopefully Apple accepts the forced apology and doesn't sue.  And hopefully someday they can learn to take a joke.  For a company that for years made fun of its chief competitor, Microsoft, Apple seems to have pretty thin skin.

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By MadMan007 on 5/5/2010 8:41:29 AM , Rating: 5
What a pathertic suckup. When a comedian has to apologize for something that is clearly a joke and not offensive whatoever it's a sad sad day.

RE: sad
By LRonaldHubbs on 5/5/2010 8:42:33 AM , Rating: 2
Agreed. She fails for apologizing.

RE: sad
By SpinCircle on 5/5/2010 8:48:23 AM , Rating: 5
To be fair to Ellen, her apology didn't come across as completely fail... the apology itself was somewhat funny. I'm not even sure it was a sincere apology, but yet another way for her to make a joke towards apple.

RE: sad
By Flahrydog on 5/5/2010 9:09:15 AM , Rating: 4
I agree, the fact that she re-showed the originally fake commercial to start her apology showed me it wasn't sincere.
My guess is that NBC made her apologize.

RE: sad
By theapparition on 5/5/2010 9:13:24 AM , Rating: 4
You both FAIL for watching Ellen.

RE: sad
By Flahrydog on 5/5/2010 9:26:11 AM , Rating: 3
The video of that apology (which also contains the original faux commercial) can be found here.


RE: sad
By theapparition on 5/5/2010 11:51:39 AM , Rating: 2
My point stands.

RE: sad
By Taft12 on 5/5/2010 12:29:53 PM , Rating: 2
No it doesn't, your attempted joke was FAIL

RE: sad
By imaheadcase on 5/5/2010 1:04:10 PM , Rating: 2
At least we can all agree woman can't be comedians.

RE: sad
By xaders on 5/5/2010 11:31:32 PM , Rating: 3
earth to apple, it is a joke, tomorrow ellen switch to andriod phone!!!

RE: sad
By cochy on 5/5/2010 9:33:46 AM , Rating: 2
Agreed. She wasn't serious at all. Plus she showed the fake commercial again. I'm no fan of Ellen's show but I enjoyed her "apology".

RE: sad
By xthetenth on 5/5/2010 10:22:12 AM , Rating: 2
Yeah, ihop and Mr. Macintosh for the win. Watch the 'apology', it's definitely tongue in cheek.

RE: sad
By fic2 on 5/5/2010 12:50:52 PM , Rating: 3
Never thought about it, but when is Apple going to sue iHOP for infringing on the iWhatever naming convention. Yes, I know iHOP was iHOP before it was iHIP but that never stopped Apple from iSueing because they pretty much iClaim to iOwn iEverything.

RE: sad
By theapparition on 5/5/2010 3:40:01 PM , Rating: 5
Mr. Fic2,
You are hear by ordered to cease and desist all communications (written, verbal, telekinetic and methods yet unknown) regarding your infringement of the i(everything) brand copyright by order of Apple.

Furthermore, your actions have caused demonstrated damages to the Apple brand so we must restrict you to one iPad only. Unfortunately, your actions have limited your access to this magical device.

Please refrain from attempting to futher damage Apple's brand image, their i(everything) copyright, by employing the illegal actions of tarnishing the reality distortion field (RDF) on internet forums, blogs, personal communications and pillow talk with your significant other.

We sincerely hope you comply with this cease and desist order, but in the mean time, the police have already broke into your house and confiscated your personal computers. Plus we took all your dirty magazines as proof that people who bash Apple support pornography, masturbate and are generally uncool compared to the hip Apple consumers.

Law offices of
Duey, Cheatem, and Howe

RE: sad
By catavalon21 on 5/5/2010 4:37:50 PM , Rating: 2
Law offices of
Duey, Cheatem, and Howe

I wonder if Click and Clack would have made better apology spokespersons? LMAO - well done!

RE: sad
By bupkus on 5/5/10, Rating: 0
RE: sad
By catavalon21 on 5/5/2010 4:42:55 PM , Rating: 2
I'd like to see Apple go after iNTEL for use of "i"; fan or not, it would be interesting to see just how deep those pockets really are...

If Apple wins, we can just give up the letter i and go with the schwa.

RE: sad
By LRonaldHubbs on 5/5/2010 10:39:17 AM , Rating: 2
Gotcha. I didn't watch the vid yet because I'm at work, just read this article which didn't mention that she was insincere in her apology. In that case I'd like to retract my declaration of fail.

RE: sad
By bupkus on 5/5/2010 7:23:32 PM , Rating: 1
You know really grinds my gears?
The way people today use the word "fail" in sentences.
Will someone please tell me what the word "fail" has become?
It makes no sense in the way people use it.

She fails...
She failed...
She is failing...
She fails for apologizing? Fails what??

Sometimes they just respond "Fail" not "failed".
Ok, so we use things like R U OK? But must we abbreviate sentence structure as well?
America, you fail in English.


RE: sad
By LRonaldHubbs on 5/5/2010 7:47:46 PM , Rating: 1
If you don't like my use of 'fail,' too bad. I'm actually quite good with English and have excellent grammar, I just intentionally choose to break the rules for this particular expression. I have been doing so since grade school, long before 'fail' was ever an internet meme, and I will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. Given the widespread popularity of this usage you might as well get used to it. If you truly don't understand it then I recommended reading up on Encyclopedia Dramatica.

RE: sad
By Smilin on 5/6/2010 12:23:35 PM , Rating: 4
I'm actually quite good with English and have excellent grammar, I just intentionally choose to break the rules for this particular expression.

Toting grammar skills with a run-on sentence = fail.

RE: sad
By LRonaldHubbs on 5/14/2010 7:23:33 AM , Rating: 2
I carry around my grammar skills? Hmm, didn't realize...

Oh, you mean touting. Well in that case, criticizing someone's grammar while also misspelling a word = fail.

And I didn't mean to come off as touting my grammar skills. I'm just pointing out that if you read my posts here and compare them to all the others, you will find that overall my grammar is pretty damned good.

RE: sad
By MadMan007 on 5/5/2010 11:45:17 PM , Rating: 2
Your post fails.

RE: sad
By tedrodai on 5/6/2010 10:40:41 AM , Rating: 2
Unfortunately, if you choose to converse through (or simply read) such an informal communication medium as an internet forum, I advise that you relax your language expectations somewhat. Your racist outburst was highly improper, and I'm certain your blood pressure has reached an unhealthy level. Think of your health.

Since no one else has been kind enough to explain it to you, I will answer your question. This particular slang expression is usually intended to abbreviate the idea that someone or some group has attempted a suboptimal solution to a particular task and thus have failed to achieve their intended goal, while simultaneously expressing scorn or humor (or both).

If you have further difficulty understanding the slang language utilized 'on the streets' as they say, you might try googling (oh, my apologies! It just slipped out. This term is slang for using an internet-based search engine--such as its namesake, "Google", or many other alternatives--to find internet websites that hopefully have information pertinent to the query you submit) terms such as:

"Internet slang"
"American slang"
"British slang"
et cetera

In this research, I believe you will find that English slang is not limited to the American English-speaking countries you refer to. Until we meet again, I pray you are able to bask in many satisfyingly formal events, where proper English is much more common.

... (pronounced "dot dot dot")
Official Ambassador for the English Language

RE: sad
By MrBlastman on 5/5/2010 9:03:02 AM , Rating: 5
Apple gets angry at everyone. They are angry that people are even alive. If they had their wish, people would have dot-matrix printers (color, mind you), crappy black and white , a rotary touch dial for their navels and a touchscreen on their chest. Mind you, they wouldn't give you a mouth.

No, Apple wants their customers to shut up, suck down their products and fork over their cash while being berated, shat on and treated like a farm of pigs wallowing in the crap they force them to swim about in while slopping on gruel, and not even a generous amount of gruel at that.

RE: sad
By MrBlastman on 5/5/2010 9:06:14 AM , Rating: 2
crappy black and white

... 9 inch monitor,

I'm too quick to post today without getting all my facts in. :(

RE: sad
By delphinus100 on 5/5/2010 11:27:16 AM , Rating: 2
Actually, I once had that...but it was back in my Apple II days.

RE: sad
By superPC on 5/5/2010 12:22:54 PM , Rating: 3
Apple and the Chinese government would get along famously. Seeing they both have similar attitude and agenda (shamelessly using other people IP and claim it as their own, hunting their enemy with a vengeance, etc).

RE: sad
By jthistle on 5/5/2010 1:13:08 PM , Rating: 2
No, Apple would never give up the encryption keys for their perfect closed system.

RE: sad
By Proxes on 5/5/2010 9:38:29 AM , Rating: 2
She's right up there with all the celebs that make racial comments. /eyeroll

Free speech isn't so free anymore.

RE: sad
By MadMan007 on 5/5/2010 10:02:42 AM , Rating: 1
I specifically said 'not offensive whatsoever' to exclude things like racial slurs.

RE: sad
By marvdmartian on 5/5/2010 10:24:45 AM , Rating: 3
Hey Apple......humor from comedians? It's a FEATURE .

RE: sad
By Reclaimer77 on 5/5/2010 4:22:39 PM , Rating: 4
I think it's pathetic you just called her a "comedian".

Her first show was rightfully canceled because she's NOT funny, so she pulled the everyone's "homophobic" card and bullied/guilt-ed her way into this one. I wonder what she'll blame when she gets canned again?

RE: sad
By theapparition on 5/5/2010 4:28:12 PM , Rating: 2
The yentas love her.

What an insult to my intelligence to have to sit through that ride at Epcot with her and Bill Nye. Kids didn't think it was amusing either, but the dinosaur ride was cool.

RE: sad
By dragonbif on 5/7/2010 2:46:46 PM , Rating: 2
Hehe it did not look like a suckup to me. It looked more like she was making fun of them for calling her. I did like the Ihop comment.

+1 to...
By Motoman on 5/5/2010 9:55:13 AM , Rating: 4
Ellen. She's got some balls.

Oh, and Apple - go eff yourself.

RE: +1 to...
By xpax on 5/5/2010 10:45:16 AM , Rating: 2

RE: +1 to...
By dtm4trix on 5/5/2010 11:35:50 AM , Rating: 2
Word!!! Apple sure can dish it out (PC commercials), but they're like a spoiled little child that when, a little ribbing comes their way, they go crying to mommy. Cry me a river Steve Jobs, you little school girl bitch.

RE: +1 to...
By The0ne on 5/5/2010 4:25:40 PM , Rating: 2
Careful now, Ellen and you might get your doors knocked down without knowing! This is US, we won't stand for that kind of behavior to Apple.

Apples greed will be their downfall
By masamasa on 5/5/2010 11:02:18 AM , Rating: 4
Anybody see a repeating pattern here? Microsoft years back - sue everyone 6 ways to Sunday, let your product go to hell in a handbag by ignoring your customers, and then whine and whimper when your customer base starts to migrate to the competition.

This kind of behavior, not to mention their dirty tactics, is exactly why I will never buy Apple products.

RE: Apples greed will be their downfall
By kd9280 on 5/5/2010 11:56:47 AM , Rating: 2
Not only that, but Microsoft is headed by a guy who's donated billions of dollars to worldwide charities!

Apple... has become evil while Microsoft is the good guy? This does not compute.

By galanmario on 5/5/2010 4:21:00 PM , Rating: 2
I can't believe that Apple would even bother with this stuff. There is no such thing as bad publicity unless you are AT&T. I love my iPhone but is not the greatest thing ever invented. Apple needs to come down to earth and stop trying to dictate what people are/should be doing with their products.

By xaders on 5/5/2010 11:28:02 PM , Rating: 2
cant apple take a joke!!! even steven colbert make some jokes for the ipad but didnt make him apology for it. why dont apple make every comedian appology for their apple's joke. 1st iphone from SNL, ipad with madtv, jokes from the daily show, and etc. you get the idea.

iphones is easy to use then other smartphone with similar features but not for everyone. my mother and grandparents dont need it because they only need a cell phone that make call for a change. for example, my mother got a blackberry last year to match the phone that my sister and brother got over my recommendation of a simple flip phone. she exchange it next week.

right now, apple is making products that people want to buy. it would not be in company image to sacred off your most valuable customer with celebrities promote apple products. iphone and apple products are for different part of the market. id think of it more a high-end or luxary item. id would buy one if there were a iphone nano.

it is joke and now with the appology more attention to it. apple here is another free 15 seconds of fame. CONTROL FREAKS!!!!!!

I thought...
By jeff834 on 5/5/2010 12:20:08 PM , Rating: 2
you could say just about anything in the name of satire without fear of legal reprisal? I've never heard of SNL, South Park, or Family Guy apologize for anything and they haven't been sued for the many many satires of corporations they have done including Apple I'm sure at some point. Is there a difference here I'm missing? Although if her apology is as insincere as people here say I guess she doesn't care so much. I'm kind of indifferent towards Ellen, but a lot of people like her Apple should be careful. The last thing they need is for celebrities to go against their products. Let's face it just about the only thing they have going for them now is their "coolness" factor and once they lose that they're just MS in different packaging.

RE: I thought...
By Taft12 on 5/5/2010 12:36:07 PM , Rating: 2
you could say just about anything in the name of satire without fear of legal reprisal?

You can, and the anti-satire provisions in the developer agreement are most certainly not legally enforceable. We really would be worse off if Apple was in the dominant position Microsoft is in right now, and that is a REALLY REALLY BAD reflection on Apple.

RE: I thought...
By wiz220 on 5/5/2010 6:24:55 PM , Rating: 2
True that it's almost certainly not legally enforceable, but it does give them cover when they won't publish the app in the app store.

RE: I thought...
By Ted Landry on 5/6/2010 12:58:41 PM , Rating: 2
But like any STORE, the owner gets to pick and choose what is stocked on the shelves, so you really can't blame Apple for running a nice clean store, that's their choice, if you don't like it, shop somewhere else.

RE: I thought...
By JediJeb on 5/6/2010 2:21:43 PM , Rating: 2
Good thing you wrote the title as I thought, but still Apple might mistake it for iThought and sue you. ;)

down with apple
By p05esto on 5/6/2010 12:21:12 AM , Rating: 3
WAKE up people, Apple is a horrible company and I want to see them fail. Their products are so overpriced, under powered and subpar. Closed off companies like that stiffle competition and open standards, Apple is the worst thing for the industry. If you are a techy stop buying Apple products and spread the word, we must make this company FAIL. Arrogant and stuck up is all Apple is as a company and those who buy their wannabe products.

RE: down with apple
By Ted Landry on 5/6/2010 2:20:45 AM , Rating: 1
Why are you so jealous of high quality products? Apple stuff is by far the best, that's why they are so popular. They can't be overpriced since they are selling faster than any other devices, and technically they are currently the fastest products available.

Apple is 90% open source, Windows is 100% CLOSED source so again, you seem uniformed about high quality products.

Your jealousy is incredibile, but hang on, once you get a bit older, you'll have Apple products too!

RE: down with apple
By Reclaimer77 on 5/6/2010 3:07:37 AM , Rating: 2
Apple is 90% open source, Windows is 100% CLOSED source



RE: down with apple
By Ted Landry on 5/6/2010 3:18:04 AM , Rating: 2
Yes, you can download OSX and the iPhone OS on Apple's opensource page... plus Apple only uses open standards, unlike Microsoft & Adobe, that's why Macs are considered the most open & universal machines you can buy. Apple = Freedom

RE: down with apple
By JediJeb on 5/6/2010 2:28:13 PM , Rating: 2
Actually I would think a home built PC running Linux would be the most open machine you could buy. Not only would you have open source software but any choice of hardware also, which Apple doesn't support.

By LRonaldHubbs on 5/5/2010 8:43:49 AM , Rating: 5
And the company has already shown that it isn't a big fan of satire [except towards its competitors]

^ Fixed.

RE: Correction...
By HeavyDDiddy on 5/5/2010 11:20:50 AM , Rating: 3
Great point. Apple had years of success with their "I'm a PC/I'm a Mac" campaign that did nothing but satirize Microsoft's Windows user interface. Suck it up Apple.

Stan Marsh says that...
By Quadrillity on 5/5/2010 9:15:28 AM , Rating: 1
Steve Jobs has Seaman on his back.

RE: Stan Marsh says that...
By Avatar28 on 5/5/2010 9:23:58 AM , Rating: 1
Steve Jobs has semen on his back.

There, fixed that for ya. :)

RE: Stan Marsh says that...
By Quadrillity on 5/5/2010 9:29:11 AM , Rating: 3
No; Seaman lol. Don't you watch any South Park?

RE: Stan Marsh says that...
By chagrinnin on 5/5/2010 12:10:36 PM , Rating: 2
SeaMan; Swallow,..come!
SuperFriends: *Snicker*

Classic Southpark episode.

This comment is apparently spam and we do not allow spam comments.

Maybe you should clean your filter?

By themaster08 on 5/5/2010 8:42:43 AM , Rating: 5
Vile company.

Nuff said.

Microsoft is evil? Think again.
By rpsgc on 5/5/2010 8:46:07 AM , Rating: 5
And yet there are stupid people who think Microsoft is the evil one...

All hail fascist Apple. You make fun of us, we sue sue sue!

By whiteyd on 5/5/2010 9:29:49 AM , Rating: 5
It's like they're 5 year olds throwing temper tantrums at anyone who doesn't do things the way they want. Grow up apple

By mumedina on 5/5/2010 12:06:45 PM , Rating: 5
specially that black turtle neck wearing steve jobs. don't you apple fanbots see that apple is more draconian than Microsoft ever was. the way apple has pulled the wool over your eyes is amazing! apple is starting to resemble scientology in how it aggressively defends itself from even the most minor of occurrences.

Apple the new Mohammed?
By ZachDontScare on 5/5/2010 2:43:58 PM , Rating: 2
So is Apple the new Mohammed? Dare to spoof them, and pay the price?

I think South Park needs to go after them. Maybe comedy central wont censor that.

RE: Apple the new Mohammed?
By fic2 on 5/5/2010 3:25:32 PM , Rating: 2
Well, Apple is certainly a religion.

RE: Apple the new Mohammed?
By Ted Landry on 5/5/2010 6:30:48 PM , Rating: 1
Apple is basically a "cult of high quality".

By Chiisuchianu on 5/5/2010 2:24:05 PM , Rating: 2
I don't know who's gayer, Apple or Ellen.

RE: lol
By geekman1024 on 5/5/2010 11:39:32 PM , Rating: 2
She can't be gay.

Sicko A$$le tactics
By satveeraj on 5/5/2010 11:47:41 PM , Rating: 2
Everyday we read Apple sues, Apple Prohibits, Apple Upset, Apple sues again, Apple wont take this/that lightly.

Why all this bullish nature? just because they sold the most smartphones in the last 2 years or so?

What still amazes me is that people will sacrifice Microsoft at the alter overnight but Apple..nooooo must continue with the iRelligion. <next>

RE: Sicko A$$le tactics
By Ted Landry on 5/6/2010 2:26:44 AM , Rating: 2
Apple rarely sues anyone don't forget... it's just not their nature.

What A Bunch Of...
By mindless1 on 5/6/2010 3:55:39 PM , Rating: 2
... whiny iTards at Apple. "we didn't like it". Well Apple, "we don't like your whining" so apologize.

RE: What A Bunch Of...
By Ted Landry on 5/6/2010 4:42:01 PM , Rating: 2
Well, keep in mind Apple became the Number 1 computer firm in the world by being perfectionists, so if someone doesn't like the very best, they have other options.

Apple will never lower their standards, so the complainers need to suck it up or get stuck with an Droid or Windows machine. Apple has no tolerance for bottom feeders.

Ellen and the Iphone
By Nurn on 5/5/2010 11:38:20 AM , Rating: 2
Ellen was making more fun of her own shortcomings (fat fingers, glasses)than the Iphone.

As an aging boomer, I can relate.

By esoteric01 on 5/5/2010 3:41:13 PM , Rating: 2
First Steve critisizes Flash for being a closed platform and now this. I guess there are planning a series of TV spots to appologize for all the FUD they spread about Windows... either that or they realized they can literally say and do whatever they want and people will still line up to get gouged by their new piece of iCrap.

By Ted Landry on 5/5/2010 6:26:39 PM , Rating: 2
The video skit wasn't very well done, and wasn't truthful, so Ellen goofed... but Apple should have let it go... It's true Ellen's market is every pro Apple, but it was done in jest, so relax Apple.

Apple says...
By geekman1024 on 5/5/2010 11:41:35 PM , Rating: 2
"Bow down to the king, bay-beh--!"

"Bah--" Sheep do as ordered.

"We basically took a look at this situation and said, this is bullshit." -- Newegg Chief Legal Officer Lee Cheng's take on patent troll Soverain

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